Leading the StuckAtTheTop™ Breakthrough Retreat this past weekend was an honor, a pleasure, and hard work.  Leaders from across the country came together to create their new personal vision for themselves.

The Wednesdays With Wayne challenge: Design what it will take to make this year your best year yet and creating the new version of your Best Self.

What struck me was that the way to get there was through exploring, honing in on, and then disclosing personal values in a very heart-centered discussion.  These high-achieving leaders each brought forth the things that mattered most to them.  

Think about that.  Could you, in front of a group of relative strangers that you had only just met recently, declare what your very personal values are?  It’s harder than it sounds and yet, these amazing people brought it.

Each of them dug deep to bring their unconscious thoughts into consciousness.  They sorted those out.

They personally affirmed those thoughts.

And then…

They dared to dec...

It’s the small stuff that makes a difference.  It’s the small stuff over and over again.

It’s the smile along with a soft, yet energetic “good morning.” It’s holding a door.  It’s telling someone the thing they needed to hear.

It’s the small stuff over and over again that makes a difference.

A little while ago I wrote a Wednesdays With Wayne blog post noting that a pebble is a small thing, until you find it in your shoe.  Yes, a pebble is small and if you step on it, it can become a gigantic irritant.  It’s the small stuff over and over again that can drive people apart.

OR, it’s the small stuff that can make the biggest difference to you in your relationships – in any relationship, really, whether at home or in your business.  

It’s the small stuff, over and over again.

Set your calendar.
Choose what you eat.
Smile at a loved one.
Smile at someone you’ve just judged harshly.
Stay grateful.
Drink water.
Sleep.
Give back.
Begin anew.
Stay curious.

It’s the small stuff, over and over aga...

If you could go back in time and change just one thing for yourself, what would it be?  In this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne, you get to time-travel just a bit.

Traveling back in time twenty years ago, if you changed just one thing back then, it would have made a difference to you today, wouldn’t it?

The same is true for five years ago.

And the same goes for something you could have done differently even a couple of weeks ago.  Imagine an incident or opportunity that you encountered just two weeks ago. What one thing could you have done differently then that would put you in a different place now?

Was it telling someone something, learning something, or taking an action that seemed just out of reach but in looking back, would have made such a positive difference for you or someone you care about?

Here’s something really odd:  You find it easier to look back and imagine how changing just one thing in the distant (or even recent) past could have made such a difference for you now....

The local antique store inspires this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne.  There, I found this lamp, it has beautiful crystal dangly things (I’m not the antique shopper, I just know what’s pretty to me).  My wife liked it. She and Ali, the shopkeeper, got into a discussion about the lamp.

Ali noted that it really was a beautiful lamp, she told us the year, and she remarked that it was in great shape, but that it had a few chips.  That got me thinking – it’s how old?  And it only has a few chips?

In my first book (yes, I’ve written five so far), Choosing Your Power, I address the flaws that we each have.  It is those flaws that make us perfect.  We are wonderfully unique, quirky individuals.  We annoy each other, we inspire each other. We are diverse.  It is the flaws in each of us that make us human.

The pursuit of perfection is a never-ending endeavor and I think it’s misguided.  Don’t aim for perfection. Aim for excellence. Be your best self. Every day, get a little better.

Pause to ...

Last week, some of you responded to my Wednesdays With Wayne by honoring me and telling me how much my writing meant.  Each note, each parade (or GIF of such), made me smile! Thank you!

Since then, I’ve had a few people comment on my ability to bounce into a room, smiling.  I almost always wake up that way. When I don’t (because we all carry stress sometimes), my work is to find my way back.  In general, I really AM happy.

How?

How is it that anyone can choose joy?

Can you?  Even in the midst of that “stuff” that gets in the way of your day, how can you bring your happy?  I’m calling it that because someone told me that’s what I was doing, “wow, you’re really bringing your happy today!”

I don’t wait for it to land on me or to be inspired into happiness.

I remember all that I can do in the day.  I have language shifts that I use to prompt me (from “have to” I think about “get to”) and I think about the things for which I’m grateful.

Sometimes it’s the small stuff.  Sometimes, i...

Heyyyyy!  I’ve been writing a weekly blog for two years.  That’s right, this is Wednesdays With Wayne number 104!!!  I think I’d like a parade or something.  Actually, just drop a note that says, “that’s cool” or something.  

Which brings you to today’s topic – We All Just Want This One Thing…  when you get it, you feel good. When you give it, you might feel good; you definitely make someone else feel good.

So pass the “feels” today, okay?

What is it?
Well, it’s that sense of acknowledgment.
It’s feeling like what you did was noticed by someone and was meaningful.  

Why do we strive so much?  You are hoping to make a difference.  And maybe, just maybe, someone might actually tell you the positive impact you had on them.  

Yes, you might act selflessly sometimes (that’s self-less-ly).  

You give in a way that you don’t get acknowledged, knowing that just giving does make a difference.  I have friends who do amazing work for the underprivileged. I’ve volunteered at food banks. It’s...

What if it all works out okay?
No one ever worries about that, right?  

Don’t you usually get your undies in a bundle thinking about all of the things that could go wrong?  Being prepared is good. Obsessing over something that’s not likely to happen could have negative effects on your work performance, your “at home” performance, and ultimately, your health.

Here you are in this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne where the question is: what would happen if you recognized what got you to THIS place, right here, right now?  You are the oldest you’ve ever been. Something got you here - you have very specific strengths that are unique to you.  

You are reading this.
That means your brain’s frontal lobes are working, allowing you to plan your way to be here.  

And what that means is that you have a unique capability to figure things out.

And then what that means is that instead of worry (which is a horrible waste of imagination), you might invest in yourself by honoring your capacity for hav...

A friend of mine brought a rescue breath to me by reminding me of something.  He said just four words to me and I think those words actually changed my life.  At least, they (re)opened my eyes and I began to see beyond the details that felt like they were burying me.

Your Wednesdays With Wayne this week is here!

Short and to the point is this:  High Performers have a lot going on.  It is easy to lose track of a detail here or there and that’s usually not critical.  Usually. Since High Performers come back to check on the details, the truth is, they’re not lost for long.  

Where people with a lot going on get buried is when all of the details seem to inundate you all at once.  Ever had that sense of almost being on top of things when six of the projects you’re working on need your attention?

And you begin to wonder… Is Any Of This Worth It?
You might want to stop and turn back.
You might feel like if you lose control of one thing, you’ve lost control of everything.

Should I move fo...

Oh my goodness, that’s messy!

Is it, or is it that your life is all on track?
Everything is falling into place perfectly.  Birds sing and fold your laundry, taking it from the line where it was hung, and unicorns float by on their rainbow paths.  

What kind of fantasy poop is that?

The truth is, your life is messy.
It’s working, but it’s messy.

My life is messy too.  We live in a really messy world.  Unless you’re some Tibetan Monk living a simple life with no possessions and focused ONLY on a spiritual journey, your life is messy.  (And even then, the monk might say his life was messy. I don’t know; that’s a separate interview.)

Right here, right now, your Wednesdays With Wayne focuses on embracing the mess!  This is not a directive to go out and MAKE your life messy.  No, far from it. We all have friends, family, colleagues who are struggling in their lives – there’s depression, drug abuse, medical conditions, and family issues. That’s a different kind of mess that needs a di...

It’s the small stuff.  The little acts, thoughts, or gestures we make, the dialogue we have with ourselves and what we encourage or tolerate from others, how we step into or away from each situation time after time after time – that’s what makes us who we are.

A pebble is a really, really small thing.  Until… you find it in your shoe! That pebble in your shoe is an irritant.  You can focus on it and somehow the pain of it being there grows. You can ignore it and yet you’ll still be limping the same way that if you practice something long enough, whether you know it or not, you begin to embody it.

In this, the 100th Wednesdays With Wayne blog, we’re looking at what it is you do or think that makes you who you are.  And ultimately, we’ll look at what you might be able to do differently to create a different you from the one you were 20 years ago, 10 years ago, two years ago, or even today.  I’m a BIG fan of sowing seeds now for creating the person you want to become down the line.

L...