A lot of my inspiration comes from my VIP clients. They’re people with success behind them who know there’s more for their lives – there’s more to do, more to have, more difference they can make in the world, and more to become. It’s fascinating work as they grow through who they were on their way to becoming more of who they want to be.
At some point each of them has faced a hard truth: they’ve been spending a lot of time and energy to make sure that other people like who they are or what they do. The reason that’s a hard truth is that we’ve all done that to some degree. Those that are continuing to grow and expand their exponential excellence and impact in the world understand something else:
Not everyone is your audience.
You’re not doing what you do to make sure everyone is okay, going to like you, or say nice things about you. This next piece is something you need to really consider carefully:
Personal growth is a really difficult balance of being yourself and growing beyond the person you are now.
Just be yourself.
That’s sage advice, because being anyone other than who you are is difficult.
And yet, that’s what growth is. It’s difficult.
Growth means you’re leaving behind something that got you here. The analogy of the caterpillar to butterfly is overused. So think about this: the toddler had to give up crawling. Now, as an adult, you know that you can crawl. You also know that except for very rare circumstances, that won’t serve you.
One of my favorite quotes comes from Emerson who said that the mind once stretched by a new idea can never return to its original dimensions.
You wouldn’t want it to, would you?
So what if you attempted something new?
You probably won’t be great at it right away. It requires you doing something you’re not used to. If...
The truth is, Valentine’s Day doesn’t really matter all that much. It’s an arbitrary day on the calendar to profess your love for someone who you’d hope might already know. The chocolate, flowers, and greeting cards industries will make you think that a particular day matters. It doesn’t.
Or… does it?
Well, kind of…
Use Valentine’s Day as a reminder. It’s a reminder of something that you might want to mark on your calendar randomly.
The reminder is this –
You’re with someone special.
And if you’re single, you’re still with someone special.
Try this: take out your calendar and randomly scroll down a few weeks – three, four, five, or six weeks. Just scroll. Pick a day and open your calendar to that date.
Mark this on your calendar: DO SOMETHING SPECIAL
Now scroll randomly another three, four, five, or six weeks. Pick a random...
In working with a client recently, we were discussing how the rules we were given early on have lingered with us. They become stories and they even come out of our mouths as rules we end up imposing on others.
“Make Good Choices”
It’s a life lesson we like to impose on ourselves and others. Yet if we tell that to our kids who have no frame of reference or life experience, we really are asking the impossible.
We’re really asking a question – and perhaps need to change that dictate to the question it begs:
What Do You Think the Consequences or Outcome Will Be?
A lot of times, as adults, we don’t actually know the answer to that question and that stops people from moving forward, from testing things, and from learning. As an intelligent adult reading this, think about the times you’ve been sidetracked trying to find ALL of the information before moving forward on something.
Sometimes, you’ll fail....
When I clasp my hands together, my left thumb just naturally lands on top. We each have preferences for what just "feels" right.
Clasp your hands together. Note which thumb is on top and which pinky is on the bottom. It just feels right. Now, open your hands and close them together again with the opposite thumb on top and your other pinky on the bottom.
It feels just a little awkward, but it’s doable.
You have preferences in what feels right, and those preferences carry over in how you operate in the world. For example, when looking at your future, you might think in terms of how amazing it will be. Or you might think in terms of the details about what’s needed in order to take yourself forward step-by-step.
In my #1 Best Selling Book, The Significance Factor, I give you a quick assessment for whether you’re more Operational/Tactical or you’re more Strategic/Inspirational. You probably have an idea. The question...
When I coach my VIP clients, I’ll always start with exploring what my clients say they value and then look at what really shows up. From there, we can work on realigning what’s important by getting clearer on actions vs. stated desires.
And with that said, I’ll declare something that is now probably very obvious to you:
Resolutions Don’t Work
Do you know why? It’s because no one is ever truly “resolute.”
When was the last time you made a “resolution” and kept on it past mid-Feb? Resolutions aren’t the same as goals. And that makes them harder to live into.
Instead, create a values-based filter and focus. What one word can you live into a little bit each day? Think about it. What word will serve to guide you?
Some examples might be:
Look at any one of those words. You can set your filter in the morning and at the end of...
I expect a lot of myself.
And here’s a big secret not many people know about me: I’m also kind of critical of myself – there’s a “not good enough” self-talk that pops up every so often. Yeah… I get it too.
There’s a realization I came to recently, it was sparked by some reading and then a lot of heavy reflection. It was about how we treat ourselves and I wanted to share that concept here.
If you’re building walls against the world, if you’re critical of yourself, if you’re soothing yourself and your basic anxieties in life with food, sex, or other substances, there’s a question to ask – Is This Love?
The way you woke up today and started your day, is it Love?
The way you spoke to yourself and the people around you, is it Love?
If you’re in sales, are you selling from a place of Love?
If you’re in service, are you serving from a place of Love?
Hey! Where are you going this year? It’s 2022 and it’s time to set your GPS for the year. That is, you’ll want to adjust your thinking using a GPS mindset!
I use milestones like turning a calendar page not only to track progress, but to project it.
And I do the reverse of that, as well. Specifically, I use milestones not only to project my goals and aspirations onto my calendar, but to track where I’ve been.
I use my birthday (it was in September) as my personal New Year. That said, I suppose I can’t help but to leverage the putting up of a new calendar as motivation to engage in a new reflection. Simply, what do I want to accomplish this year?
To make sure that resolutions don’t become vacant wishes, you need to be really, really specific about where you are heading and what you want. “I want to head west” is different from “I want to ride the Matterhorn at Disneyland.” Being specific...
Here’s something to think about this week: New Year’s Resolutions fail by about the third week in February.
As we approach the New Year, think about what you really, truly DESIRE.
What tugs at you?
What will you honestly be willing to trade time, money, and shift past priorities to do, have, or become?
Can you let go of what you thought you wanted or convinced yourself you “should” want and open to the possibility of becoming more aligned in this coming year?
What do you want? How will you grow?
Will you become someone who speaks French, increases their income, or has more white space on their calendar?
What is it you want… truly want?
What is it you truly desire and would tend to like a precious garden?
Dare to desire.
Dare to declare.
Dedicate yourself to attaining it and receive the fruits of your efforts!
Happy New Year!
= Wayne =
To get you started,...
We’re at the end of the year.
Holiday festivities abound.
There are a lot of groups celebrating in a variety of ways.
There are others who simply aren’t celebrating.
And the calendar page is about to turn… again.
Alone or with others, at this time of year and throughout the year, one thing counts: Gratitude.
At this time of year, opinions will fly, emotions will flare, and things will go wrong.
Let’s get back to basics and remember that it’s grounding and positively impactful when you step into being grateful for the life you have, hardships and blessings.
Take a breath.
Recognize all that you are a part of (vs what you might be feeling apart from).
We’re connected and your positive vibe affects everyone you come in contact with. The ripples are potentially endless.
Gratitude and lifting others – those start with one… they start with you. Take that forward, pass it on.