Ultimate Freedom

wednesdays with wayne Nov 14, 2023

Think about what Ultimate Freedom is. I’ve asked this of so many people and all too often, the answer is stunned silence.

 

“Well, I guess not having to do anything I don’t want to.”

That’s such a negative-based, defensive response. And it provoked my curiosity: 

 

If ultimate freedom is NOT doing something you don’t like, what is it you would WANT TO DO?

 

That’s one of the hardest questions to answer. Most people have a lot of rules pop up before they answer that question.

 

“I mean, I know what I’d want to do, but it’s not practical.”

“Oh, what I’d like to do, my (husband/wife/spouse/other) wouldn’t let me.”

“No, I’ve put off what I want to do for so long, I don’t even know what it is anymore.”

 

Please read that last line again and tell me if it resonates with you. (Reply to this post and let me know.) Surprisingly, A LOT of people have...

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When Will It Ease Up?

wednesdays with wayne Nov 07, 2023

In reviewing some notes from a client, he asked, “When will it all ease up?”

 

I believe that this indicates that a growth spurt is immanent. When you wonder when – or if –  it will all ease up, you’re either going to find a way to regress, to feel overwhelmed, and to do things that keep you in that state of fluster, or you grow.

 

“When will it all ease up?”

 

The truth is that it doesn’t ease up. You just get better at handling what comes your way. 

 

Oh, and you also gain a little perspective and realize that YOU ARE THE ONE THAT PUT IT ALL THERE. 

         –   The bills. You made choices that got you to the place of enjoying what you have. You just
              deferred the payment for those choices.

         –   The business details. You made choices to hire or not hire, to expand...

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Really? THIS triggers fighting!

wednesdays with wayne Nov 01, 2023

Just in time for the holidays… Food for thought!

 

Have you ever considered what triggers you? 

 

I don’t live my life offended. I’m pretty sure you don’t either, and yet, everrrryyyy soooo often, something sneaks in. Something happens that we find ourselves defending what we believe in.

 

We stop thinking about the other person having a right to their opinion without having to fix it. 

Fighting happens when we believe that someone has broken integrity. 

 

More specifically (and let this sink in) that we somehow let our own integrity get broken by someone else.

 

We openly root for our favorite politicians and sports teams. When we do so, we believe others should join us. Yet what really happens is that we have opened the door for others to share their opinions with us.

 

Someone promises you something and breaks that promise.

It happens over and over again. And yet, you want to believe that people are good. Well,...

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The Truth About Psychological Safety

wednesdays with wayne Oct 25, 2023

Psychological Safety is such a big topic! 

 

Stick with me here. It’s going to feel a little heavy in the middle. I promise you’ll have something positive to hang onto. In a short blog, I can’t go into ALL of the details I’d want. It’d become a full chapter or two. You’ll find something for you in a few places here. Read on!

 

The current workforce demands psychological safety as a foundational value. When I consult with organizations, the leadership is perplexed. “How are we supposed to offer something like that?” 

 

And that’s actually a great question because psychological safety means so many different things; every one of us is going to have our own definition of what makes us feel “psychologically safe.”

 

Let’s flip this around for a moment: 

What makes us feel unsafe?

 

There are two key things that create a sense of feeling unsafe psychologically:

 

  • Actual...
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Iโ€™m NOT Saying Donโ€™t

wednesdays with wayne Oct 18, 2023

We’re told to be generous, to help others, and by doing so, we’ll have everything we want. Just as with the notion of “manifestation,” It’s another great, yet horribly misunderstood theory.

 

People have told me how hard they’ve worked and how they still don’t have it all. “I give and I give, and what do I have to show for it?”

 

It’s not a simple syllogistic tree of IF This, THEN That. 

 

To be clear, I’m not saying don’t help people. 

What I am saying is that you can’t do so expecting a quid-pro-quo (a kind of this-for-that) engagement. 

 

In relationships, the danger here is to do what’s called “score keeping.”

  • Well, I took out the garbage.
  • Well, I cooked dinner.
  • Well, I loaded the dishwasher.
  • Well I… 

 

If you engage in scorekeeping and expect an immediate payout because you were of service once or twice, or maybe you donated to...

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The Fight That Never Happened

wednesdays with wayne Oct 11, 2023

Somebody does something that irritates the bejeezus out of you. So much so that you have no more bejeezus left in you. You squirm and vow to make them see your point of view. They’re wrong. And you’re justifiably RIGHT.

 

The self-righteousness grows and the planning of an attack, or at least a counter-attack, is underway. Your mind whirrs with the best script ever! You’ll bring their offense to their attention. They’ll reply with some remark that’s designed to make you madder. You’ll take a tone of indignation and resentment and show them how wrong they are. They’ll reply, but they’re weakened. You’ll have proven your point. They’ll reluctantly agree, finding some way to save face by calling you a doody-head or something equally terrible. But you’ll feel good because… you won.

 

Except for one thing.

None of that EVER plays out. 

 

Think about it. 

Think about how much time you spend...

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Multiple Foci (what??)

wednesdays with wayne Oct 04, 2023

Foci – it’s a fancy term for areas of focus. Multiple foci might actually be redundant, and yet here we are, dealing with multiple areas of focus - - - every… single… day!

 

Think of the last time you didn’t feel like you had more than one thing to focus on. 

 

Personally, I can’t remember when I only had one project, one action step, one individually identifiable thing that I was focused on without a list of 16 things to do when I got through with that one thing. When I go to the gas station, I’m focused on getting gas AND what I’ll be doing after I fill up my tank. Even on vacation, there’s a lot to focus on.

 

The multiple foci thing isn’t going to change. Our current world state demands that we’re on alert for new information every single moment. Remember that “multi-tasking” isn’t a thing – what we do is called Toggle-Tasking. We flip between item to item and back...

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My Personal Happy New Year

wednesdays with wayne Sep 27, 2023

It’s my birthday week (Yayyyyy) and every year at this time, I make my own New Year’s resolutions. Starting as a wish list and refining it all down, I dare to desire! 

 

I get SUPER specific about what I want to do, have, and become.

 

What’s amazing is that I created a three year vision not that long ago. That’s not the amazing part. The amazing part is that within the first four months of my three-year vision and plan, I had accomplished over 50% of what I had written. In a third of a year, I completed half of my three-year plan. 

 

How? 

I wrote it down.

My goals were both personal and professional.

I kept my eyes on my target(s) and anything not those needed to be assessed as potential distractions. 

 

So now, at my personal New Year, I’m retooling and refining. 

I’m getting specific. And I’m making this an amazing year for myself. I’m not waiting or wishing or hoping. This is my year...

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Next!!

wednesdays with wayne Sep 20, 2023

Your past got you here.

The choices you made, the roads you took, the people you met… all of that got you here.

 

Some of that was conscious. Some of that was auto-pilot. 

 

The key for you now is to design the life you’d like to have.

 

Most people plan their vacations in more detail than they think about what they’d like their future to be. When you go on vacation, you know what sites you’ll visit and when. You know how much you’ll need to have. You know what to pack and you probably have a good idea about what you’ll be eating.

 

Weird, right? 

 

I mean, the weird part is that we don’t typically think about that for our own lives.

 

What if…

 

What if you knew where you’d be, what your home looked like, what you’d be eating, and what you’ll be doing every day. Think about the feeling you’ll have, the smells around you (dryer sheets, warm cookies, coffee, fresh...

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Art and Influence

wednesdays with wayne Sep 13, 2023

Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! 

How delightful that repetitive noise is from kids, from TV, from social media “influencers” and such! It’s not delightful at all. It’s annoying as heck! 

 

I think it’s a responsibility we each carry, knowing we’re being watched by someone and that our actions model for others two things: how they should treat us and how they might treat others.

 

The message then, must be “join me” not “look at me.” 

 

Join me in making the world a better place.

Join me in smiling and engaging with love.

Join me in letting go of shame and guilt and stepping into hope and freedom.

 

Join me because I model for you who I am and how I am in the world and if our values align, it’d be great to be connected.

 

Join Me.

It’s so much more powerful as a message than lookatme/lookatme/lookatme!!!

 

That’s art at its finest. 

 

Keep making...

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