Pretty much every time I consult with an organization, I hear about that one person who seems to be “the problem child.” There’s that one person who doesn’t listen to expectations, doesn’t meet expectations, and then blames everyone else as the “reason” they couldn’t get done what needed to be done.

Years and years (and years) ago, when I was the regional HR Director at Whole Foods Market, one of the senior leaders exclaimed, “Why can’t they just do their f’ing job!” 

You might have a coworker like this.

You might know family members or friends like this.

You might have just “survived” a Thanksgiving holiday and be gearing up for more relative imbalance at the end of this month. 

What happens that this one person seems to need everyone else to make their world right? And, more important, what happens to you when you have to engage with that person?

Whether at work or at home or in someone else’s home, there are some strategies to help you. First, recognize that if you...

Must we, again, speak of gratitude? It seems so obligatory at this time of year. It’s the season to count your blessings. 

Really? There’s a “season” for that? 

I guess I kind of feel like I’d be missing out on a lot of life if I weren’t counting my blessings every single day. 

Here’s a quick test – look around where you’re sitting as you read this. Find ten things right now that you can say you’re grateful for. Then say it out loud!

I’m grateful for my water glasses. I’m grateful for the water in them. I’m grateful for the keyboard I’m using to type this. I’m grateful for you, the reader, who dares to ponder some of the weekly insights that come your way. I’m grateful for snacks (okay, I love snacks, darn it). I’m grateful for the pile of reading on my desk that’s so tall, I can’t see the bottom corner of my second monitor. (We’ll talk about tolerances in another blog post.) I’m grateful for my second monitor. I’m grateful for my family. I’m grateful for my friends. I’m grat...

Today’s focus is on leadership, so no matter what you thought about the title of this week’s blog, “My Wife’s Driving,” today focuses back on YOU.

And first – a quick explanation. My wife likes to drive. She’s good at it. And, she likes to drive fast. She’s good at that too.

Sometimes she’ll yell at the drivers in front of her. She’s not some crazy person. She’s just, uhhhh, expressive! Really she doesn’t like it when cars choose the “fast” lane and then go the posted limit. She’ll scream out, “C’mon!!! The left lane is for crime!”

She knows they can’t hear her. She does it for herself.

I think that’s funny. She does too. And she still wants the cars to move out of “her” lane so that she can drive faster (and break the speed limit law, hence the fast lane being designated for “crime”). 

She’s willing to break the rules to get where she needs to (okay, wants to) go. 

And here’s where you come into this. Do you believe that hard work is the only way to get things ...

The pressure for – and around – holiday gatherings is drawing in. Some people (you??) have very specific rules for how things “should” and “shouldn’t” be. 

We’ve just had an election (here in the U.S.) and the media – especially social media – is more full of “it” than usual.

So, how do you stay centered in the midst of the season of particularly strong opinions?

You DON’T say these three words – I’ll tell you in a moment.

These words are the top three from my Watchword List that I first published in Choosing Your Power, my first book from a decade ago. 

Eliminate these and you’ll be in a better place for communication and holding real engagement at work, at home, or in the world.

Here’s the short explanation about the words to eliminate:

        1) Why – This is a set up for blame. Just make your statement and own it without needing to feed your ego by putting the other person down: 

Why are you late? 🡪 I’m disappointed that you’re late and I’d like you to commit ...

There’s a concept called “target focus.” It’s what happens when we notice something, anything. We’re drawn to it, even for a split second. That’s bad news for a race car driver who looks up at the wall. 

I’ve learned that to get out of a problem, you have to stop thinking about the problem and go bigger picture.

Now, there are a couple of steps to get to this bigger leap. First, a lesson from my trip to Jamaica a while back. I inquired about the “No Pro-blem” to every situation and was told, “You fix da ting, no pro-blem.” 

I get that – if you cut your finger, get a band aid. If you spilled something, clean it up.

That’s the first step because it is problem/fix focused. 

And, that’s not where your thinking should stop.

There’s a bike path on which bicyclists regularly become injured. It happens predictably. And it makes sense to move an ambulance or a medical station near the area where bicyclists become injured. They get injured, first aid is immediate. There’s a p...

We know the virtues of disconnecting from tech periodically. Our brains need the break. It’s great and we want others to understand how amazing we feel when we do that. I find it humorous how many people post about it, crowing about how great they feel about being disconnected. They come back to social media and want a prize for being “better-than” others who are still there.

We are lured into applauding and noting that we too should be, have done, or are scheduled to take a tech break. 

It’s not a competition, nor do you really need someone else’s adulation for taking care of yourself. You don’t get a parade for brushing and flossing, for meditating, or for eating right. Although, I’m certain there are communities of support out there for every person.

You’re here because you’re beyond that. It’s part of why you read the Wednesdays with Wayne. 

So what IS the paradox of connectedness?  

Whether you got a parade for choosing to be offline or not, what happens when w...

I used to worry about being perfect, or at least good enough. 

I used to think that I wasn’t the smartest person in the room and that I’d be judged by people smarter than I was. 

NOW, I don’t worry about perfection, and I know I’m already “good enough.” Also, these days, I choose to put myself into rooms where I’m not the smartest. Holy cow! How would I ever learn anything if I didn’t give myself the challenge of listening to and learning from others??

All of that old “stuff” sure slowed me down, though.

And anytime I procrastinate on something, I look at what’s causing the resistance to just getting it done. 

Darn it, old “good enough” stories bubble through. I want to make sure it’s right.

You know what? Typos sneak through. My thoughts ramble on the page sometimes. I know what I meant to say and what comes through is some beautiful tangent.

And that all brings me back to the title of today’s blog:

Get It Done, Then It’s Done

It’s only by putting stuff o...

The problem with problem-solving is that we tend to focus on the problem.

Well, how else would you solve a problem if not to focus on it? 

THIS is going to be really big for you in your business and in your personal life, so take some side notes on this one!

When we focus on the problem, we aren’t actually getting as close to a solution as we want. Think about a big problem you’re facing – better yet, think about a big desire you have. What’s something really big that you want? 

What are you telling yourself about why you don’t have that yet?

Here, THE PROBLEM is in the story you’re telling yourself and that story is based in lack: “I don’t have the money.” 

Or, “I don’t have the time.”

If you (or your child) were diagnosed with some horrible life-threatening disease, you’d likely find both the money and the time to make sure that the care needed was found.

Where would the time or money come from and what makes the difference?

The difference is a sense of ...

Here’s something you might not know about me: I used to teach preschool. I love that age. Kids are learning their way in the world and are still so full of wonder. 

Somewhere along the way, authority figures (parents, clergy, teachers, other family) begin to impose rules that shut that wonder down. 

“Don’t be so nosy.”

“Stop asking so many questions.”
“Don’t be a pest.” 

And the wonder is stifled in trade for approval.

Almost every child learns this lesson – it’s a trade of behavioral compliance for the perceived reward of love. 

There are stories that are built around this. And life’s struggles come from those stories.

What if we kept wonder alive? One of my favorite things to tell people is, “Stay Curious.” 

When you live in curiosity, you cannot live in judgment.

“I wonder…” is so different from “That guy is such a _______.”

Wonder will serve you. In leadership, “What needs to happen for this team member to live into better performance?” That’s so much ...

There’s a saying that goes, “When one door closes, another one opens. But man! These hallways are a b**ch!”  Today, we’re going to explore those hallways. They’re where you stub your toe trying to find your way.

Finding your way is a BIG deal. There’s another saying that goes, “if you don’t know where you’re headed, any road will take you there.” That one is from Alice in Wonderland. 

Clarity about your intended outcome is like telling your GPS where you want to go. If you don’t have a destination, you’re just looking at a broad map. If you DO have a destination, a few things happen: 1) your current location is determined, 2) the “best” route is calculated, and 3) the destination is highlighted. 

You need to know your current situation/position.

From there, all things are possible. And when you are focused on moving towards an outcome, you make decisions based on that outcome. 

Yes, you might need to reroute from time to time.

Yes, you might need to stop to rest from ...