Yes, this is my tribute to Valentine’s Day. Another made-up holiday to get you to buy flowers and make dinner reservations. (Hint, if it’s not Valentine’s Day all year, you’re doing it wrong.)

See www.RelationshipRecharge.com for your quick downloadable 7-tip guide. 

This love thing – When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

When you go to work, who are you?

When you’re out on a date, who is it about?

When you look in a mirror, what do you say?

If you saw someone who looked like you walking down the street, would you say those things out loud to that person? 

When you go to work, are you loving it? Are you happy to see your team mates? Are you excited about helping your customers? Does getting that report done make your day?

When you’re out on a date, are you worried about how you might come across or whether everything is okay?

Here’s the message today: It’s already okay! YOU...

I had one of my high performance DynamicLeader® clients thank me for an insight I gave him. His son had just been a beast. You know how kids go through their growth spurts and have to prove that they’re not you – they’re anything but you. Yeah, it was that lovely growth time.

My client/friend was beside himself. His kid had almost become unlovable. It was bad.

One of my corporate clients reached out to me to talk about a woman on his team. She just wasn’t performing. She seemed to be that bit “off” in everything she’d turn in. And, worse, she didn’t seem to care. She’d blurt things out at team meetings and she’d under-perform in other areas of the job. 

My client/friend was at a loss. One of his star employees was slipping so badly, she just didn’t belong on the team any more. It was bad.

And there are hundreds more stories. You might even have your own.

My coaching was to...

We’re into the New Year, you’re staying on track (mostly), and you have a mix of enthusiasm and doubt as you move toward those goals. We’re dealing with a lot of “stuff” both in the U.S. and around the world. That pandemic thing is still here, though the future looks just a wee bit brighter.

So you think you’re optimistic. You think you have a positive mindset. And then, when that place of “stuck-ness” comes along, you forget about that positive mindset and wonder what the heck happened.

As your Breakthrough Success Coach, I’m here to nudge you a bit.

Beyond what you’ve read about the growth and fixed mindsets, beyond the locus of control research, there’s something very interesting at play.

Your mindset is driven by your core beliefs about the world. Those often operate at a subconscious level. That means, you might not even know what they are. 

I always laugh when I hear the...

Here we go! We’re into the third week in January and the news is all abuzz with stuff designed to polarize you and, really, paralyze you. Some of it is inspiring, some of it is depressing.

And it’s all distracting.

You set out on a path at the end of last year. You made no new resolutions this year, but deep in the back of your mind you were setting up hopes for what would happen. And by now, you’ve started to waver.

This one is short and sweet.

It’s really easy to get distracted, especially now. 

Stop.

Focus!

Review what you said you wanted to accomplish.

Go ahead, it’s time to dream big… really big. So if you didn’t have a big goal, you have permission to take one on. And if you did have a really big goal, you have a little nudge here to get back on track.

Think about your goal.

Get super specific about the outcome (what does it look like, feel like, smell like, taste like, or sound like?).

Plan...

Some people are naturally optimistic (me!!!) and some seem to wait for something bad to happen after something good happens, almost as a way of proving themselves right.

The truth about life is that there are some good things and some not so good things that happen to everyone. And with that, there are some simple truths about optimism worth reminding yourself about.

You choose how you look at any situation. Even the bad ones. You give meaning to each and every situation.

Is your food cold? Oh, well… there goes the whole day!

Or, it’s amazing how many different ways there are to get your food to the temperature you really want.

Did you find a dime in the parking lot? Well, you wished for more money and here it is! What, not enough? It’s “just” a dime?  Yep. Right on both counts.

Someone close has passed. How is that a good thing? The memories your hold dearly are good. The value that person brought to the world...

How being resolute moved from meaning “morally lax” in the 1400s to becoming “determined” or decided as absolute and final in the 1500s is kind of a mystery. Resolve comes from the Latin, “to untie.” 

Weird word origin, right?

I’m fascinated by that stuff. And I’m curious. Do people still make New Year’s resolutions? I don’t. I create goals and strategic plans, instead. And that happens long before the New Year.

While I see social media abuzz with “this year, I’ll…” I’m not certain those are resolutions at all.  

This is my year to __________.

Awesome! Do it.

Make it happen.

Or… 

Sit back on the couch with some red licorice like substance and cheezy chips and wish it were true.

The thing about resolutions that people make is that very, very few people who make them are truly resolute (in the 1500s sense of the...

Concession, giving in, tolerating something that no longer serves you – these have no place for you anymore.

As we come to the close of this year, look at what you’ve tolerated in your life. Is it a squeaky door hinge, a pile of papers you’d get to “someday,” or a relationship that you knew needed a little more attention than you’ve been giving it?

We concede a little and train our subconscious mind that we allow that.

This is practiced and becomes habit.

Habits are borne of continuous behavior that’s rehearsed. When we behave in a way that we no longer hear that squeaky hinge, see the pile of clutter, or acknowledge that a partner (at home or at work) might need a little more attention, we train for tolerating the simply adequate.

My mission is to inspire greatness tempered by benevolence.

Greatness and excellence can only be achieved if we engage in an inventory of what we’ve allowed. 

...

Think about the successes you’ve had in the past. You got there by keeping a vision of your outcome in mind. 

Think about the times you were disappointed by some outcome. If you’re honest with yourself, you had a cloudy vision, it was a vacant wish, or you somehow “knew” it wasn’t going to happen anyway. In fact, your vision was focused on a clear outcome of NOT getting what you said you wanted.

This is tough stuff to reconcile.

If you’re in sales, what outcome do you have in mind EVERY SINGLE DAY?

If you’re in a relationship, what outcome do you have in mind, every single day?

No matter what you have your sights on, be deliberate and conscious about the outcome you want.

It’s just that simple.

Get clear.

Name it.

And lean into the outcome, doing a little work to clear the way to that goal every single day.

I heard that there’s some holiday coming up soon. Is that true?

All I know is that my wife chose to buy a blow-up snowman and enhance the décor of our front yard. Charming…  

Beyond the holiday that you celebrate (or that you don’t) at this time of year, you will acknowledge that the calendar page is going to turn once more.

With the turn of that page comes a lot of hope. New possibilities abound as we let go of the old history we’ve lived through.

And soon, many people will be jotting (mostly mental) notes resembling New Year’s resolutions. The problem with these “resolutions” is that most people aren’t resolute in following through to make them realities.

Wants without plans or deadlines are simply empty wishes.

I wish I could lose 50 pounds.

I wish I could win the lottery.

I wish I had a new car.

I want to lose 50 pounds.

I want to win the lottery.

I want a new car.

People call on me to become their Breakthrough Success Coach. Even when I’m working within an organization, helping the leaders align strategy, we’re still focused on a few key areas. These points will help you focus for the rest of this year and into the New Year (and beyond).

As your Powerful Presence™ Mentor, I’m here to remind you that whether you’re a partner in a relationship or a partner in a large firm, or you’re a solo person just trying to make it through the end of the year or a solo-preneur holding onto hope for your venture, the way you think absolutely affects the way you show up.

How you show up for your family, your friends, your colleagues, your division, your organization, or the community – that’s all reflected in how you show up for YOU.

The reason this particular Wednesdays With Wayne blog is out today is because the winter holidays seem to highlight (perhaps ignite) the thinking that has been...