DR. WAYNE PERNELL

My quirky clients inspire me.

I've recently met with a couple who each had their own challenges.  Hey, they’re human and really, we all have our personal stuff.  

This week’s Wednesdays With Wayne takes you on a journey of looking inward to bring your Best Self out.  

Andrew and Sally struggled to be better leaders for their organization.  As partners, they also were challenged to be better for each other. Their lessons were separate, but so relevant for each of us!

Sally is such a giving person that, ironically, she struggled to demonstrate empathy. In fact, it was because of her efforts to engage in a human connection that by offering assistance and suggesting different fixes for problems, she ended up taking away the opportunity for the other person to actually grow.  To really demonstrate presence, it's important to acknowledge the other person's condition and when you step in as a leader, it's important to leave room for the other person to...

There’s a concept I was just introduced to that actually could fall under the heading of business and leadership development.

It’s odd, and, I think it’s worth giving some thought-space to.  

Yep, today's Wednesdays with Wayne focuses on a concept I recently heard in a lecture, that of transformational, hopeful, love.

Here are some quick questions:  

• How often do we bring the concept of hope and love to the work we do?
• How often do we bring it to the people around us?
• How often do we bring it to the projects and the outcomes that we desire?

Do we get so wrapped up in the competition of being better than that we forget what we're here to do?

Truly, isn’t the best thing we can offer someone else the opportunity to believe in themselves or in the work that they do?

Isn't it our job as leaders to make that something that we all focus on? When we give someone the opportunity to believe in a brighter future because we paint that future, doesn't that...

The engines whined as they revved up.  We began to race down the runway readying for takeoff when everything, and I mean everything, came to an abrupt halt.  

The engines were brought down and the brakes were applied forcefully.

I slid forward in my seat, held in place by my seatbelt.
Overhead, bags slid in their bins.
And in the galley just in front of us, a cacophonous clatter caught the attention of all.

What happened?  Was it a near miss with another craft?  Did the first officer miss something? Will we be circling around to try again?

We slowly made our way down the runway.  Questions brewed. Are we going? Or… WHERE are we going?  The captain finally announced that we were on our way back to the gate.  That a circuit had blown in one of the engines, or maybe it was just that the indicator light came on.  And, “it’s probably nothing, but maintenance wants to check it out so we’re heading back to the gate.”

For...

Do Good Stuff!

My dad’s legacy is a statement he makes as a salutation sign-off at the end of a conversation.  In The Significance Factor, I devoted a chapter to Do Good Stuff.  It’s a reminder for each of us to make a difference, to give back, and to keep investing in education both for yourself, as well as for others.

My journey is shaped by my father who modeled the way for so many of us.  I learned the value of giving back and being of service. He’s a bit of a “driver” type personality, so when he has an opinion about something or the way something should be done, he’ll let you know.

It was hard to grow up with; his opinion seemed to be THE opinion.  I think I came to the place of everyone needs to have their own voice because of how I was raised.  And now, as an adult, I’m figuring that out. Yes, I’m still figuring that out. The good news is that with social media, it’s clear that I’m not...

As I write this, I’m sitting on an airplane that is getting its second coating of de-icing.  I joked that de icing is de best part.

Why joke?  I mean, I’m now two-and-a-half hours delayed.  Two and a half hours!!!
I could be angry.
I could be worried.

Instead, I changed perspective to know that I’m in the best hands possible and that the best decisions – safety-based decisions – are being made for me.  So here I sit, with my computer in my lap, tackling one more thing on my list.

Welcome To Wednesdays With Wayne

I was looking for inspiration.  Who knew it would come in the form of a snowstorm that has caused massive flight delays!

I’m peaceful.  I’m happy. I’m content.  (I’m also not jammed into a middle seat, so that helps, but still…).  

Here’s what’s cool for me as an observer of people:  No one on this plane is pissed. No one is demanding that we get going....

How often has someone near you done something or suggest you do something together to which you responded (either with that voice in your head or out loud), “Oh, yeah, but that’s just not me.”  

That’s fine for someone else, but that’s just not me.

Welcome to Wednesdays With Wayne where this week I’m asking you the question – How Do You Know???

Dancing is fine for other people, but that’s just not me.
Singing karaoke is okay for those people, I mean look, they’ve been drinking, but that’s just not me.
Dying your hair purple is okay, I guess.  But wow, that’s just not me.

How do you know?  

That purple hair thing… I dared to try it about six years ago.
It’s hair.  I knew it’d grow out if I hated it.  It’s like trying on a sweater or some other jewelry.  It turned out that dying my hair purple made the darker areas darker and the slightly silver areas tinge with...

My wife turned to me and said, “I respectfully disagree.”  We were discussing self-esteem.  It turned out that we both actually DID agree with each other.  We just had a different approach to the topic.  No one gets a prize for just showing up.  Showing up is your job.

And, sometimes we need a cheerleader in our corner, someone to remind us that we can do it.  That’s different than being given a prize for just trying.  If you get in the game, I’ll cheer you on.  If you win, I’ll celebrate that win.  If you don’t win, I’ll remind you that you’re capable of figuring it out and help you strategize for how to do better.

That’s different than telling you that you’re wonderful just for even having the dream of maybe wanting to try to put your toe in the water sometime soon maybe kind of.

Welcome to this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne!

No, I’m not a big fan of entitlement....

In a recent conversation with a client, we spoke about how to connect the outer world with the inner world and vice versa. Our conversation turned to how simplification and decluttering actually makes room for new possibilities to enter your world.  Sometimes simply having space creates the new opportunities.

In terms of productivity, the more that you can clear your workspace and the more that you can simplify, the more productive you actually become. For those people who have incredibly complex lives and crowded calendars, simplification and decluttering becomes all the more important.

Here's something to practice:  Look around.  What one thing in your workspace or wherever it is you are seeing this or reading this, what one thing in that space can you get rid of, just one, right now?  Maybe it's a pen that no longer works.  Maybe it's that piece of mail (or stack of mail?) that you've been meaning to get to.  Go through it; get rid of it.  When...

Carrying a candle into the darkness does not change the flame.  Darkness is not the presence of dark, but the absence of light.  This week’s Wednesdays With Wayne post is about what I call The Torch of Clarity.  

When you become super clear about your values and the role(s) you play in the world, doubt abates.  When you become even more clear about your direction and your true sense of purpose, there’s no stopping you.

In fact, energy returns in a way that not only propels you into the future, but also draws people to you.  You have greater levels of influence when you are clearer about what you stand for.

That’s magical, isn’t it?

Oh, hey, it’s valentine’s day – it’s a lovely time to remind you about relationships and I have a free gift for you – Relationship Recharge: 7 Tips to a More Vibrant, Dynamic, and Passionate Relationship!

Seriously, it’s free and it’ll help you in your...

Is it a sleepless night?  Or are you up early on purpose?  It’s still dark out and you find yourself wondering about and perhaps worrying about all of the things you’ve got going on.  The conversations you need to have, the conversations you hope you don’t have to have, and the conversations that you get to have all seem to blend in the twilight hours.   

Now what?  You’re up.  You’ve begun to dabble at work.  Perhaps you convince yourself that it’s time to get to your morning exercise routine or preparing for your first cup of coffee (I know that could be the same thing, just lifting a cup is your morning exercise).

For a number of us, we’re up and on it early.
We aren’t greeted by the sunrise.  We’re already up, waiting to greet it!  And sometimes we forget that greeting.  And that’s what today’s Wednesdays With Wayne is all about.  

As I write this,...