I didn’t know how badly I needed a break. I’m pretty good being in GO mode. And I coach my clients to plan for a weekend away every few months.  Well, I’ve been reflecting on my birthday get-away that was a couple of months ago. After coming off of a multi-city tour of speaking, coaching, and business building, I spent four days in the land of play.

My wife picked me up at an awards ceremony. She, in her jeans and t-shirt, and I, in my formal wear, left the Beverly Hilton hotel for an adventure at… Disneyland. It’s an odd choice, perhaps. And, that’s what we (my wife and I) do. 

We’ll do weekend get-aways.

We’ll plan trips here and there. 

And somehow, I always seem to be working because there’s always something next. Had I not been living in alignment? No, not really.

I’m sharing this story because we often know what to do. And we find “reasons” (aka excuses) for doing just...

“I’m right.” 

“No, I’m right!!!”

The shouting goes back and forth and there’s no exit to this “right-fighting.”

No one goes into a debate to be convinced by the other side. We’re each so ready to convince the others that our way is the only way, that we fail to see any sliver of possibility that there might be a different way. 

The truth is, we all miss something. 

In my most recent TEDx that has climbed past three-quarters of a million views, I spoke about the need for a Parallax Perspective. If you approach every situation with the knowledge that you’re missing something, then you’ll actually get further in influencing others. 

Right-fighting is like a bad game of eternal tug-of-war. And yet there is no tug of war if you’re not picking up the rope!

Getting people to do what you want or to believe the way you want them to is often mistakenly about...

This is a big, personal share. 

The caterpillar creates a cocoon and then doesn’t automatically become a butterfly. Before that happens, the caterpillar turns into a gooey, oozing soup. It dissolves its caterpillar-ness. And a transformation happens. 

The transformation isn’t pretty.

And the transformation isn’t instantaneous.

We all have stories that came from rules we learned before we had a big, world perspective. We learned what it took to survive, to be loved, and to feel worthy.

I grew up with such a paradox of rules. 

On the one hand, my parents were fans of self-esteem and building that in their children. On the other hand, I learned that it wasn’t okay to feel too much self-esteem (and later learned that doing so would threaten the esteem of the dominant parent). As such, I ventured into the big world with unconscious rules that stopped me from pursuing BIG goals. 

I learned to go along to...

Those three words – Values, Vision, and Vitality – have come up a lot, haven’t they?

These key stepping-stones are at the foundation of my work with exceptionally high-performing leaders. Without them, you won’t have an effective organization and, dare I say, you will never feel quite fulfilled in your life. 

How do you really get that sense of personal and professional well-being? This is about Exponential Success™ and it’s yours to step into.

First – 

Recognize that your values have changed over time. They’re supposed to. You’re not who you were. Your organization doesn’t exist in the same era as when it was founded. You’ve changed. The people around you have changed. The world's culture has changed. 

So what do you value now?

Where do you see yourself and your organization heading?

What values must you live into in order to attain that big-idea goal?

Next...

I’m going to give you the punchline right up front.

They were playing a ground game.

The tortoise and the hare were playing small and got so many things wrong. That means that “slow and steady wins the race” is an antiquated way of thinking. So is a jackrabbit start. They were missing so much.

First, they compared their progress to each other.

Stop it. Your progress is to be compared to your yesterday. Are you better in any way from yesterday (in health, wealth, wisdom, or relationships)? What did you do to grow or lift someone else? Start there.

Next, they played small by not recognizing alternatives. They had their own attributes and whose race were they running? While the tortoise couldn’t run as fast as the rabbit, the rabbit would have been a dehydrated mess had they decided to go across a desert since the tortoise can survive a year or more without water. (Yes, I just looked it up so I could share that trivia tidbit with you.)

...

The chopping boards have mounds of ingredients waiting for you to scoop them up.

There’s a light smell of onions in the air and you’re sautéing mushrooms and prepping potatoes that are already at a rolling boil. You’re warming a light coating of oil in a pan to receive the main protein. 

Maybe it’s pancakes, bacon, and eggs.

And maybe, just maybe, it’s your life.

Maybe it’s your relationships, your health, and your career.

Maybe it’s your philanthropic endeavors, your social engagements, and your financial status.

Maybe it’s your vacation or recreation.

You’ve got them all bubbling away. You’re simmering some, bringing up the heat on others, and ready to wash out the pan for another.

It’s your life. 

There are projects that require some seasoning while others you needn’t touch for a while (do not open the lid while that rice is cooking). That could be...

Today’s post is kind of personal. I’m sharing my journey with you and I’m hoping you can find yourself in it. It’s reflective; I seem to be doing that a lot these days.

There’s an old saying that’s like a riddle that goes: 

Do you know what happens if you don’t step out of your comfort zone?

Absolutely Nothing! Nothing happens. Nothing changes. And you die a little each day. Or, you awaken to alternatives and make different choices. You expand your life and the lives of those around you because you choose to do so.

Growth is hard. It means learning new things and sometimes it means relearning things you thought you knew but – the harsh reality is – you’re just not that good at those things so you gather the equivalent of tutors to get you through. (Pssssst, in the adult world, they’re called coaches.) I’m doing that. And by sharing, I hope you’ll be inspired to step into your own growth....

Tomorrow is my birthday and every year, I treat this as my personal New Year. 

It’s a time of renewal. 

It’s a time to reflect on the year that has gone by, celebrating the successes, and documenting the things that didn’t go as planned so that I might learn. Key point: there are no failures, only lessons. 

Key Questions:

• What were the lessons from this past year?
• What am I planning for and building into for the year ahead?

I do this annually.

Yes, I use January 1st as a time to do this, as well. 

And I do it quarterly.

Because my birthday lands so close to the end of Calendar Q3 (the third quarter of the year), it works out well. 

I use a Life-Balance Wheel that I developed. It’s not the only one out there, and this one works for me. (If you’d like a copy, email me and I’ll send you one.)

I have a segmented wheel that I assess how I’m doing in each of eight areas. If this were a...

Here’s a thing on my list. It’s important. Do I actually intend to do it?

I sometimes feel great putting stuff on my to-do list. 

• Do a blog post. Check!
• Clear email. Check!
• Prepare for client calls. Check!
• Climb Mt. Everest. Uhhh, let’s roll that over to tomorrow, still at a priority level 1, but we just won’t do it today. I’ll handle it tomorrow. And well… then it might roll to the next day.

We give ourselves the pat on the back for even thinking it’s something we’ll get to. It’s a badge of honor to have it there. And when other “stuff” consumes the day, we justify the rolling of the priority item.

That item could be related to health, to your finances, to your business, or your household. Yes, changing the wiper blades on your car is important. Oh, didn’t get out to do it, roll it over to tomorrow. Yes, calling potential clients is important. Oh, didn’t get around to doing...

Most people like to win. Some people LOVE to win. Some people will die trying to win.

And so you know where I’m coming from, winning isn’t bad. It’s just not what you think it is.

Winning often means gaining some advantage at the expense of someone else. I saw this in couples’ work all the time. And then it would repeat in the corporate setting, between colleagues and across departments, where “winning” becomes exceptionally destructive. 

Yes, “winning” a contract means that others lost out on getting that contract. And no, if you’ve won it, you don’t have to share it. The truth is, you worked hard to win. It’s not an accident you came in first. And that is something to be proud of.

So what’s the problem?

Some people think in terms of win/lose in almost all situations. They’ll negotiate about everything and if they don’t get some kind of concession, they...