The people in your life, they’re great company. Right?

The organizations you affiliate with, they’re great company. Right?

Whether you work with or for an organization. There are three top qualities that make it great. And it just so happens that these three qualities make anyone you hang around great.

Here they are:

1. Purpose – it’s clear what the person or organization stands for and is aiming toward. We love people and organizations with purpose. We feel like we can stand behind them and support their values because there is a values-match.
2. Recognition – Great people and great cultures within organizations find ways to acknowledge others, especially where actions are aligned with values. “You did xyz and that is so aligned with my personal/the company’s values. Thank you!” It’s simple. It’s rare.
3. Culture – There is one. There’s a “vibe” about a person and there’s a clear...

You’ll hear me talk about Exponential Success and it may be a concept that just blows past you. I’m not talking about becoming successful. I’m talking about taking your path from fine to absolutely amazing. I’m talking about going from room temp to boiling.

Room temperature – everything is fine. My life is fine. I’m, uh… living the dream (which means I’m lying about being fine).

Warm – you know, I’ve made some decisions and chosen a path that’s pretty good. I feel good. I have some of the things I want for my life. I really don’t need those other things.

Remember that I’ll encourage you to get really clear about what you desire. That’s where you make your life truly magical. And when you hear the voice in your head telling you that you don’t need that thing you’re interested in, pay attention to who’s voice that is. The voice of shame or guilt is likely from your...

Sometimes a profound quote from a mentor sticks with you. From my clinical psychology grad-school days (dang, 45 years ago) comes this gem: 

Accidents Are The Choreography of Ambivalence

How great is that! If you think about the times you’ve hesitated instead of being clearly decisive, you’ll see that there were a lot of opportunities for things to go badly. And if you reflect on the accidents in your life, you’ll see that someone involved made a decision up the line that wasn’t based on real clarity.

It’s this simple – we say we’re “confused” when we’re not clear about our desired outcome. Maybe guilt or shame stops us from pursuing what we really, truly desire. So our vision of what we want is obfuscated. We demonstrate our ambivalence in various ways. An “accident” happens. And then of course, we can’t be, do, or have what we want because of the “accident.”

...

A little history mixed with inspiration for you today. Celebrations are great. We just get a little arbitrary in what we choose to celebrate and why. It’s funny, actually.

In the U.S., we’re approaching the celebration of our “Independence” Day. This was the day that the Declaration of Independence was signed.

Uhh, except that it wasn’t really signed until August 2nd, 1776. So, there’s that.

And like a toddler stamping her foot yelling “I Do It!,” the United States wasn’t really a country, and wouldn’t be for another 13 years when the constitution (drafted in 1787) was ratified fully in 1789. Just because we said we wanted independence didn’t mean we were suddenly granted it. There was a war that waged on for years after our foot-stomping. There were papers to suggest how to organize. And many, many people didn’t want it. British rule, the way things had always been, was just fine.

...

Did you ever notice the way I sign off my blog posts or pretty much any correspondence?

Keep Making Your Magic

I believe in you. 

I believe that each one of us has something magical to contribute to the world. That we’re here to give our unique gift. And, I believe that unique gift is magical. 

It’s up to each one of us to nurture it and to let it out. And that’s why a lot of my work focuses on getting you to Listen To The Whispers. 

Focus on that voice of true desire that says, “over here” and guides you to a path that you’ll really love. Let go of the “supposed to” stuff and the “get real, be rational” voices that feel like pushing. 

Your magic is found in the pull you feel from your heart. 

Remember how I said, “Enter when pulled?” It’s not always an argument that pulls you. Step in with wonder and curiosity. “Where might...

A tug-of-war can only happen if there are opposing forces pulling on the rope. That means, you can stay out of a tug of war by refusing to pick up the rope. Someone taunting you, in whatever way – at work, at home, at a bar or a party – it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to engage. At ALL.

When a phone salesperson happens to catch me answering the phone, after they say my name, I’ll interrupt them with the first question: What are you selling.

That stops the script.

It also introduces a new script. Pay attention to this for yourself: We are programmed to answer questions that are posed to us.

Rather than being pre-qualified on the phone, “Are you happy with xyz service that you currently use?” I start with the first question: “What are you selling?” 

“Uhhhh, I’m uh, not selling anything. I’m, uhhh, finding out if you like your current phone service.” 

I then say...

We get so fired up when someone threatens our identity.

Think about the last time you felt offended or outright angry about something.

Something inside of you felt like it was being taken from you. A piece of you worth fighting for. 

By the way, your sports team sucks. 

Whatttt? That’s MY team you’re talking about. 

We want to belong. We want to fight for our group, our beliefs, our unified force. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Just remember, it’s not personal.

If I say that your sports team sucks, that’s a comment about me. 

You don’t have to prove me wrong, because it’s not about you. And pretty much never, ever, in the course of human history has anyone come to an argument or debate ready to be swayed in their beliefs. So, we shout louder, believing that some injustice is being done to us, personally.

     It’s not about you!

Really, it’s...

I recently had the pleasure of speaking at The Wizard Academy in Austin, TX. 

Yes, it’s a real place, a non-profit for business-people looking to open to new ways of thinking about their business and their life. I’m not here to plug ‘em; I wanted to share some fun I had.

I was one of the kick-off speakers for a two-day conference. And, at the end of the two days, the questions of “what did you like best?” came around. Attendees took the mic and shared various “nuggets” that they took away from the instructional time. 

I felt so honored by hearing people repeat back MY words. Simple things I’ve been saying over the years. And these amazing people, some of whom you might know of because, well, they’re out there, shared back my truth.

So, I thought I’d offer them here. In bite-sized nibbles. This month, you’ll get a little something to think about, one sentence at a time.

...

Look at you go!

And go.

     And go.

          And go.

Where are you going? Just checking!

When I ask people how they’re doing, I’m genuinely curious. And when they respond, “livin’ the dream,” I’m sad for them. Really. That phrase means that they’ve gotten caught themselves on a hamster wheel and see no way out. It’s a phrase of concession, of giving up.

How’re you doing?

Oh, I’m just living the dream here.

Doesn’t reading that make you feel like the air in your tires was let out just a little? 

Our job – yours and mine as powerful humans – is to become the beacon that reminds people who they are and who they can be. It’s a job of rehumanizing and it’s humanity focused. 

That requires you to be super clear about your dream, your goals, your wishes for yourself. And at...

An emotional gut check can leave you feeling like you want to react in all kinds of ways. I just received some disappointing news and I felt angry, frustrated, unheard, dismissed, and then NEUTRAL.

How can bad news be met with a neutral response?

Because “news” isn’t good or bad. Okay, the stuff on TV is mostly drivel and you’re tuning in to things that are aimed to fire you up and/or confirm your biases. Beyond the media’s biased slant on events in the world, anything you see or hear is simply information. 

ANYTHING.

This might be unpopular thinking. So try it on for a moment – 

A major deal fell through? That’s neutral information. It’s disappointing for a moment, and then, it’s information you can use to make your next move.

A medical diagnosis? It’s neutral information. It’s alarming at first. And then, you use that information to make your next move. 

...