Who owns you?
We’re torn by the distractions of so many things that are important. There’s where overwhelm comes from. There are so many things, big and small, that need our attention. Feeling like you own your day comes from having a handle on your “to do” items.
You own them, and not the other way around.
A lug wrench, a hair dryer, or a bread knife all show up at your door… They’re each important in a certain circumstance and, if you’re packing for a picnic, only the bread knife is making it into your picnic basket.
It’s not that what doesn’t go into the basket isn’t important. It’s that you’re exercising discernment for what’s important now.
The same way you could acknowledge that any tool has a place, you can look at the projects that you’re pursuing or the ones that you’ve put on your to-do list for someday. Somehow those...
Hey…! Where are you going?
No, really. Where are you going? You know that to get there, you want to pack a few things that will help you along the way.
Essentials to pack:
Values…? NEW Values?
Yep, because the old saying really IS true – what got you here won’t get you there.
Think about who you were and what you really valued 20 years ago. Does the today you hold the same values as the yesterday you? Some of the core values of integrity, love, family, etc. maybe. But the other values of what you wanted back then… those would only slow you down today.
So think about who you’re becoming and where you’re heading. Actually, that’s backwards. Think about where you’re going.
Then PLAN who you’re becoming.
What does it mean to really feel alive?
Are you filling your days with the things you love and live for? Feeling drawn to exploration is a prize, so are you ready to get out and explore or, do you have that nagging feeling like you “should” be doing something else… something more productive maybe?
It’s not uncommon, especially now as we focus on creating our own, personal, new normal.
There’s a conflict:
What could I be doing? What should I be doing?
People ask me how to balance their lives and the question of work-life balance still comes up.
Work – Life Balance is a MYTH.
WE HAVE LIFE.
What we choose to put into that is our choice, every single day!
You can choose to fill your life with work. Or, you could choose to fill your life with not-work, whether that’s family, play, distraction, or philanthropy, you choose.
You will get more out of life when you choose something that lights you up,...
I’m a huge fan of the absurd. It’s all around us and it’s exhausting entertainment.
I don’t watch people get triggered for the sake of entertainment, I simply keep my distance when the triggers happen.
The truth about triggers, that sense of needing to say something or feeling angry because some injustice has been done, the truth is that a person’s core identity has been threatened. If you’re triggered by something, look for the Truth. Is it about you, or is it about the other person?
People in sales, in customer service, and in any social/public position face challenges and potentially having what they’re offering being taken out of context. There are those that live to be offended. That’s absurd entertainment in itself.
Think about what triggers you – being called a name? Being cheated? Being told what to do? Keep going, the list could be endless. What really triggers you?
Doing your BEST. Being your BEST. Living your BEST life….
Those are such great concepts. So often I hear, “yeah, living the dream.” It’s a sad state of resolve that life isn’t that great and the person saying it is in a job they don’t love (or even like) and that they’re not really able to enjoy life at all.
Personally, I awaken perky. Annoyingly perky. I open my eyes and have gratitude, not for what the day holds, but rather for what I get to bring to the day. Yes, I have obligations. Those are still “get to” items. Who put those things on my calendar? I did.
I’m responsible for what I put into my day.
I’m responsible for what I give to my day and for how I show up.
And because of that responsibility, I know that I need to be at my best. I’m at my best for me, for my family, and for the work I do. I’m at my best because by leveling up, I lift others around me. By lifting...
It’s not unusual to feel overwhelmed, especially now.
We’ve all been through a lot.
We pack things into each day, we push to do that bit more, and it feels like we’re never done. There’s always that bit more to do.
There will always be that bit more to do. We carry with us the weight of that which we have left undone, and it feels like we’re carrying mountains with us.
We’re carrying the mountains.
We forgot this one truth:
The mountains were meant to be climbed, not carried.
Look at your day, what you’ve put into it, what you planned to do, what you actually did. Your calendar… is it aligned with your activities?
Your activities highlight your priorities.
If you’re putting things into your day that aren’t helping you to climb the mountain, if you’re not actually doing the things that you declared were important to you, then of course...
We in the U.S. just celebrated the 4th of July, our nationally recognized Independence Day. It’s not the day we actually got independence, in fact the last signature on the Declaration didn’t even happen until August 2nd. And freedom? Well, there are a lot of things to be said about that.
TODAY’S BLOG IS ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL FREEDOM
AND HOW TO STEP INTO A BIGGER LIFE
Pretty much 100% of the people I talk with and the people who become my clients feel like they are bigger than the life they’re living. If you’ve felt that way, just know you’re not alone.
I’m bigger than my current life!
That’s the ache.
What can you do? One of the key questions I used to teach in martial arts, and it carries over to business and to your daily life is: What’s available to me now…? And now? And now?
Recognizing that each moment is different, your freedom – your personal freedom...
I’m a fourth-degree black-belt in a multi-disciplinary martial art of The Way of the Warrior, Bushido. I taught for almost thirty years, developing kids through the ranks, helping them grow into powerful beings in the world. And in some ways, I guess I’m still doing that with my clients. I bring them from feeling like they want to be bigger in the world to those who not only have power, but in turn lift others to feel more empowered.
There are certain pitfalls and dangers that are concomitant with advancing along the path of the martial arts. They are the lessons we need to look at and they become the collective push needed to keep going.
When I was coming up through the ranks, the drive to keep going was fueled by the knowledge I was gaining. My thinking was that being a black belt would make me a super-human somehow. In some ways, it’s like looking up to the leaders of major corporations and modeling yourself after them. In the 80s,...
Four… Three… Two… One…
Did you know that most people can’t tolerate even four seconds of silence in a conversation? Four seconds?
When I work with teams and leaders, I’ll hold a silent space, counting eighteen seconds in my head. The squirming starts at about four seconds and almost invariably, someone says something to break the silence at about nine seconds. What’s funny is that it’s often the leader in the group that breaks the silence.
Leaders need to be the ones to actually hold the space.
That’s how safety is created. You entertain the idea that everyone has room to engage and be seen or heard at their comfort level. And then… as odd as this sounds, the key is not to run over that.
When I speak about being deliberately, actively, positively uplifting of others, I also comment on how important it is to see each other, human to human. Acknowledging each other, one to...
Looking at my formula for great MindsetMagic! you’ll see that in the middle of M-A-G-I-C is where everything balances.
Here, the G stands for three things, each of which will serve to make you more powerfully authentic and fulfilled in the world.
The first is Gratitude – sure there’s a lot going on. Yes, this past year was tough. And still, don’t you have so much for which you can be grateful? Think about it, on what device are you reading this? And it’s connected to what? And you’re operating that device, that runs on power. And you’re not naked and starving. So… start there. What else might you have in your life for which you could find gratitude? Who else in your life?
Which brings us to Grace – we need to give ourselves a little grace. And we need to give each other a little grace. This past year has been tough on everyone. You’ve grown and changed. Your perspective and what you value are...