There have been some truly odd things that I’ve seen and heard in the three and a half decades I’ve worked with organizations’ leaders. As my DynamicLeader® Brand is shifting a bit, I was reflecting on the good, the bad, and the SMH confusing leadership moments I witnessed.
My work is about clarification, it’s about communication, it’s about curiosity, and it results in boosted productivity and, dare I say, a sense of fulfillment!
And that sounds so easy and fun. The thing is, I’m called in to support teams in becoming more efficient and leaders in the skills of leadership because things are messy.
As I worked to build a communication bridge between two departments within the same corporate division, I asked a question about his ideas on collaboration.
“Can your group work in tandem with the other group? Can’t you find a way to collaborate?”
He was serious when he...
I’m in a class at 6am every morning. It’s an online group and the good news for me as I travel is that the classes are recorded so that I can come back to them to pick up the ones I missed. When 5am rolled around today, I rolled over, happy that I had time, knowing that if I needed to sleep just a little longer I could, and convincing myself that since I worked out hard yesterday, my body needed the rest.
When I opened my eyes at 5:50am, I had a flood of thoughts that ranged from “I could roll over for just a little more sleep; it’s still dark out” to “Oh my gosh, I’m not late” and “I committed, I need to do this.”
I leapt out of bed, “Thank You” being the first words out of my mouth. Yep, even in a rush, I’m grateful to have this day. I gathered my workout clothes and headed to my computer. This did two things: 1) it got me to my class on time… dressed, and 2) it prepared me to work...
“Go ahead. I trust you.” Powerful words that aren’t uttered lightly. When clients speak these to me, I’m honored and hold the promise of that trust as sacred. I know I’ve earned it. I know that my actions, my comments, the amount of push I give because of the insights I offer, that’s all based on being real and true to myself first.
You can’t trust me if I don’t trust myself and, conversely, I can’t – and won’t – trust you if I don’t get a sense that you don’t trust yourself. Are you trustworthy?
Do a quick check in with yourself. Don’t just knee-jerk react to say that “of course” you are. Think about this: Are you Trust Worthy, worthy of being trusted by others and certainly first, are you worthy of being trusted by you?
When you tell yourself that you’re going to change a habit and on day two you revert, are you trustworthy? When you are dealing...
You know I’m a fan of “begin before you’re ready.” I’ve seen so many people that keep themselves stuck because of the lies that they tell themselves and try to convince me of, “I’m not ready just yet.” They soften it with those last two words.
Really, I’ve seen A LOT of ambivalence over the years. People will tell me that they want to work with me, they know their life will improve, they want the programs that they’ve heard are life changing. And yet a commitment isn’t fully made.
And from where you’re sitting, you might be wondering why people don’t just make a commitment. Or, you might be reflecting on those New Year’s Hopes that weren’t really resolutions after all and realizing how they fell away, yet still linger as a distant wish.
The key is decision plus action.
The obstacle is ambivalence and that shows up as resistance. You tell yourself stories that include...
Think about the last thought you had. Whether it was, “okay, I’ll just read this and then I’ll…” or “I wonder what he means by that headline,” your thoughts are future focused. THAT is why it’s SO important to pay attention to them.
From, “I wonder what’s for dinner” to “That jerk at work probably didn’t get his stuff in on time,” you’re predetermining your future condition.
The reason I start every morning with gratitude, “Thank You” being the first two words out of my mouth as I awaken each day, is that doing so sets the stage for me to think about the day. I’m in gratitude, so I get to do things in my day.
My thoughts float to what I get to do, not what do I have to do and who is going to need something from me. I choose to serve greatly each day. That’s a thought I have and it sets up my future… even if that future is simply...
I’m growing… a lot.
And as such, my focus is changing. You know, I used to find places where I could inspire hope. And, to a degree, I’m still a cheerleader. With that said, I’ve also grown past simply telling you that you could be better, that you could step up, that you could live a life beyond the one you’re living.
I’m The Breakthrough Success Coach
And while it is still true that you can live a life beyond the one you’re currently living, my approach is different. And you may need to hear this.
The level of excellence in your life is up to you. What you don’t need to hear anymore is that you have a voice in the world. You’ve followed my work long enough to know that. You may or may not yet be able to speak up in all the places that you want or need, and yet you know that you can.
Here’s where things get interesting – your state of mind...
A lot of my inspiration comes from my VIP clients. They’re people with success behind them who know there’s more for their lives – there’s more to do, more to have, more difference they can make in the world, and more to become. It’s fascinating work as they grow through who they were on their way to becoming more of who they want to be.
At some point each of them has faced a hard truth: they’ve been spending a lot of time and energy to make sure that other people like who they are or what they do. The reason that’s a hard truth is that we’ve all done that to some degree. Those that are continuing to grow and expand their exponential excellence and impact in the world understand something else:
Not everyone is your audience.
You’re not doing what you do to make sure everyone is okay, going to like you, or say nice things about you. This next piece is something you need to really consider carefully:
Personal growth is a really difficult balance of being yourself and growing beyond the person you are now.
Just be yourself.
That’s sage advice, because being anyone other than who you are is difficult.
And yet, that’s what growth is. It’s difficult.
Growth means you’re leaving behind something that got you here. The analogy of the caterpillar to butterfly is overused. So think about this: the toddler had to give up crawling. Now, as an adult, you know that you can crawl. You also know that except for very rare circumstances, that won’t serve you.
One of my favorite quotes comes from Emerson who said that the mind once stretched by a new idea can never return to its original dimensions.
You wouldn’t want it to, would you?
So what if you attempted something new?
You probably won’t be great at it right away. It requires you doing something you’re not used to. If...
The truth is, Valentine’s Day doesn’t really matter all that much. It’s an arbitrary day on the calendar to profess your love for someone who you’d hope might already know. The chocolate, flowers, and greeting cards industries will make you think that a particular day matters. It doesn’t.
Or… does it?
Well, kind of…
Use Valentine’s Day as a reminder. It’s a reminder of something that you might want to mark on your calendar randomly.
The reminder is this –
You’re with someone special.
And if you’re single, you’re still with someone special.
Try this: take out your calendar and randomly scroll down a few weeks – three, four, five, or six weeks. Just scroll. Pick a day and open your calendar to that date.
Mark this on your calendar: DO SOMETHING SPECIAL
Now scroll randomly another three, four, five, or six weeks. Pick a random...
In working with a client recently, we were discussing how the rules we were given early on have lingered with us. They become stories and they even come out of our mouths as rules we end up imposing on others.
“Make Good Choices”
It’s a life lesson we like to impose on ourselves and others. Yet if we tell that to our kids who have no frame of reference or life experience, we really are asking the impossible.
We’re really asking a question – and perhaps need to change that dictate to the question it begs:
What Do You Think the Consequences or Outcome Will Be?
A lot of times, as adults, we don’t actually know the answer to that question and that stops people from moving forward, from testing things, and from learning. As an intelligent adult reading this, think about the times you’ve been sidetracked trying to find ALL of the information before moving forward on something.
Sometimes, you’ll fail....
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