What do bread, yogurt, petri dishes, good organizations, and you have in common?

Imagine a bailiff yelling, “All Rise” and you’d have your answer.

There’s a culture inside that helps growth happen. 

Truly great organizations recognize that it’s the mix of people, each with different stories and strengths, that make for a positive culture.

The environment must be a positive balance for any positive culture to grow.

This is where YOU come in! You set the tone for those around you to grow or to retrogress.

You lift others.

You shine the light and lead the way.

Or you diminish others in some vain attempt to make yourself more powerful.

We’ve seen this in politics, in organizations around the world, and in families.

As you’re reading this, you have solid examples of those who have lifted or inspired you along the way. And, you’ve probably had some visceral response to a memory of someone whose actions...

We’ve just passed Valentine’s Day and I will share that this particular “holiday” used to cause me a lot of concern and stress. It felt like a test of some sort. Like I had to get it “right.” 

I felt like I’d be judged by my wife at the time, like my family and friends might also find what I had done adequate or lacking, thereby reflecting on me – as a human or at least as a husband – as adequate or lacking in some way.

Decades have passed and I’ve come to recognize how commercial holidays are just that and that in demonstrating the value of a relationship all year long, one day isn’t going to make or break it. 

As we come through any of the holidays, so pretty much every day, it’s important to reflect on how you think about yourself in the world, at work, at home, in every single one of your relationships. 

Do you feel like you’re in a position of having to prove...

I was cleaning up the counter, doing dishes, moving quickly and my arm caught the top of a wineglass I had just placed carefully for drying.

It tipped and no slow-motion effect could stop the inevitable.

I could feel the pieces shower my bare feet as the shards scattered across the counter and onto the floor. 

My wife was present, and upon recognizing the situation, her response was a quick command, “Don’t move” as she quickly grabbed the vacuum to take care of the floor and then taking up towels to wipe down the counter. She made it safe for me to step away, find footwear, and come back. 

I returned to doing the dishes and, ever so carefully, washing the delicate glassware. And I thanked her for her response. 

She was surprised and inquired about my gratitude. I noted that she didn’t seem upset and she just took care of things. Her response: “Why would I get upset? You can’t unbreak the...

Ever get stuck? 

We all do. We all hit places in our path where we fall into a hole and can’t seem to get out. It’s a part of a natural rhythm and nothing to worry about. That said, living in “stuck” IS something that needs attention. That’s a blog post for another time and has to do with living as a victim or martyr or, perhaps, a self-saboteur. Again, a post for another time (though something to look at for yourself if that struck a chord). 

What happens when you drive through the mud and then your tires hit that mushy spot and your wheels spin? 

What happens when you’re on an uphill climb and you stop?

Let’s jump into basic physics for a second – 

There’s a difference between inertia and momentum. Inertia is the amount of energy it takes to get moving. Momentum is the energy you can use – and ADD TO – once you are moving.

If you’re stuck in the mud, you’re...

I was speaking with a Buddhist academic recently who was interested in the Culture of Caring™ program that I’m creating for organizations and leaders.  One of the key concepts that came up focused on the notion that we humans have a sense of fairness. 

For the most part, we see things as just, or balanced in some way. When we negotiate with someone, there’s still a sense of fairness. That is, we get a “deal” and they get what they bargained for or settled for. They chose.

The thing is, sometimes life doesn’t seem fair. And it isn’t. And it is. 

Something bad happens to you or someone you love…

Someone else gets the contract or promotion…

You get rejected from person after person, job after job, etc.

It’s not about fairness. 

Life is about the meaning we give to it. That’s not fair means that you’re feeling out of control by someone or something (a deity?) who is...

We’re a few weeks into the new year and any resolutions you made are likely looking more like wishes you’ll catch up to. They’re falling away because we have gotten to used to the word “resolution.” We’re not resolute from the start. 

Determined, unwavering, tenacious, steadfast… resolute.

Or wish… a distant desire or hope.

Most people start their New Year (your new month, your new week, your new day) with a wish. Get back to what you desire to create for yourself. 

What’s your desired outcome?

• What are the top three steps you need to take today to move a step or two closer toward making that outcome a reality?

• Who do you need to reach out to?

• What resources do you need?

• What do you need to stop doing so that you can do more of what will move you forward?

Focus there, and you will have changed the outcome of the year ahead. Day… by… day!!!

...

We’re told that if you want something, you’ll have to work for it.

We equate work with effort.

But sometimes “doing the work” is about building your awareness of yourself. It’s about uncovering the blind spots that have been your stumbling blocks and it’s about making that subconscious “stuff” become conscious so you can deal with it head on.

You can’t deal with it if you can’t see it. This process is amazing – if you read last week’s blog post, you’ll know that FOCUS is key. That said, there are obstacles to get beyond. 

Personal blind spots are woven throughout everything you do. The subconscious desire for psychological safety can keep you reliving the same “problems” over and over. 

It’s not like fighting with the shadows in the dark. It’s more like running into the same pothole in the road because you can’t see it to avoid it or, better still, to...

We made it!

Are we celebrating what’s behind us or are we getting focused and what lays ahead?

THAT is the F-word of the year: FOCUS. Start your day, your week, your month, your quarter, your year with a vision of what you want to create. What is the outcome you’d like for the year ahead?

It’s a surprisingly complex question: what outcomes will you create for yourself?

What makes that a complex question is that there are so many possibilities in so many areas of your life. 

What do you want to create for yourself and others in the areas of connection, finance, and fun? 

Will you create for yourself… a new car? a new career path? a new relationship? a new place to live? a new language? 

Will you create for others… an improved life in any number of avenues?

Can you see it, hear it, feel it, smell it, taste it and live into it?

There will be so many demands on each of us. There will...

YEAHHHHH!!!! 

We made it to the end of this odd, messed-up, exciting, wonderful, terrible, great year.

Think about the growth you’ve had this year. 

Through all of the tragedy and great division that we’ve seen, think about the love you’ve shared with others and the growth you’ve had for yourself.

You. Are. Different!

You’re not the same person today that you were one year ago. How could you be?

I’m not. I’ve grown in ways I didn’t know was possible. 

A year ago, living bi-coastally and being an international speaker were just distant dreams. But I’m that and so much more today.

So what are you setting your sights on for your dreams, ambitions, and goals for your beautiful future? Given what you’ve just come through – whether endured or enjoyed – how are you going to make this New Year the best yet? (People mangle that by saying the “best ever” and...

That’s it.

Giving and Forgiving.

They’re both gifts that you benefit from.

All kinds of research has been done around the positive effects of giving.

And all kinds of research has been done about the effects of forgiving others, too.

Both acts result in a boost of endorphins and ultimately, a lightening of your psychic load.

Think about that person that wronged you a few years back.

Do you think that they’re sitting in their room somewhere reminiscing about how badly they screwed you over? Nope. 

They probably didn’t even intend the kind of transgression they inflicted at the time. And even if they did, they’ve moved on with their lives. They’re different than they were at the time it happened.

Think about a time you wronged someone. You might still feel guilty about it. 

If you do, think about whether it makes sense to reach out. 

Before you do, recognize two things: You’ve...