DR. WAYNE PERNELL

My dad’s car flipped last week.  He’s 96. He went to the hospital.  He’s out of the hospital. And, he’s doing okay.

This kind of image gets you thinking.  You think about connection to others. You think about the fragility of life.  You think about resilience. You think about circumstances and who else was (or wasn’t) involved.

This picture of my dad’s car stirs something deeper and it had me going through a range of emotions… a really wide range of emotions!  Think of one, I probably felt it.  

And so, this Wednesdays With Wayne is for me.  AND… it’s for you.

As I cleared through the array of “feels,” I landed on one.  Sure, there’s synchronicity in that this month is November and (at least in the U.S.) we tend to focus on Thanksgiving.  

The emotion that continues to resonate through me is that of gratitude.

Yes, I’m grateful.
I’m grateful for my...

He storms out the door on a mission.  She’s left in whirlwind, facing her multiple job roles and tasks wondering when they, as a couple, will actually get to spend time together.  He knows she needs him, just to spend some time together, but he rationalizes - he’s doing all of this for her.

I’m writing my next book on relationships and this scenario is one that’s all too common.  Truly, it’s all too common. He beats his chest and storms the castle. She stays behind perplexed, juggling all of the tasks that she has and not needing the same recognition for holding it all together.  All she wants is time. Time together.

The pronouns don’t need to be He/She.  No matter the make-up of the relationship, the scenario of one partner on a climb while the other partner feels left alone means that there’s a mismatch of communication and values.  In high-achieving couples, each of the partners could be on their own climb....

We all have “stuff,” that baggage, the stories, the clutter – whether figurative or literal – that we need to let go of.  It weighs us down. We know it no longer belongs in our lives and yet, you and I have trouble letting go.

Inspiration for Wednesdays With Wayne comes from themes I’ve heard, coached, or had appear in some way on several occasions over the course of the week.  This week, I did A LOT of work on cutting through the noise and letting go of things that don’t belong.

Maybe it’s that article that you think you’ll come back to and read.  Maybe it’s that person – a hanger-on – who is more of a taker than a giver.  Maybe it’s a thing (even clothing) you bought that, because you paid for it, you’re keeping because you can’t stand to let it go and not get your money’s worth.  

Sometimes the stuff we need to let go of are thinking processes.  

What stories...

Leading the StuckAtTheTop™ Breakthrough Retreat this past weekend was an honor, a pleasure, and hard work.  Leaders from across the country came together to create their new personal vision for themselves.

The Wednesdays With Wayne challenge: Design what it will take to make this year your best year yet and creating the new version of your Best Self.

What struck me was that the way to get there was through exploring, honing in on, and then disclosing personal values in a very heart-centered discussion.  These high-achieving leaders each brought forth the things that mattered most to them.  

Think about that.  Could you, in front of a group of relative strangers that you had only just met recently, declare what your very personal values are?  It’s harder than it sounds and yet, these amazing people brought it.

Each of them dug deep to bring their unconscious thoughts into consciousness.  They sorted those out.

They personally affirmed those...

It’s the small stuff that makes a difference.  It’s the small stuff over and over again.

It’s the smile along with a soft, yet energetic “good morning.” It’s holding a door.  It’s telling someone the thing they needed to hear.

It’s the small stuff over and over again that makes a difference.

A little while ago I wrote a Wednesdays With Wayne blog post noting that a pebble is a small thing, until you find it in your shoe.  Yes, a pebble is small and if you step on it, it can become a gigantic irritant.  It’s the small stuff over and over again that can drive people apart.

OR, it’s the small stuff that can make the biggest difference to you in your relationships – in any relationship, really, whether at home or in your business.  

It’s the small stuff, over and over again.

Set your calendar.
Choose what you eat.
Smile at a loved one.
Smile at someone you’ve just judged harshly.
Stay...

If you could go back in time and change just one thing for yourself, what would it be?  In this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne, you get to time-travel just a bit.

Traveling back in time twenty years ago, if you changed just one thing back then, it would have made a difference to you today, wouldn’t it?

The same is true for five years ago.

And the same goes for something you could have done differently even a couple of weeks ago.  Imagine an incident or opportunity that you encountered just two weeks ago. What one thing could you have done differently then that would put you in a different place now?

Was it telling someone something, learning something, or taking an action that seemed just out of reach but in looking back, would have made such a positive difference for you or someone you care about?

Here’s something really odd:  You find it easier to look back and imagine how changing just one thing in the distant (or even recent) past could have made...

The local antique store inspires this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne.  There, I found this lamp, it has beautiful crystal dangly things (I’m not the antique shopper, I just know what’s pretty to me).  My wife liked it. She and Ali, the shopkeeper, got into a discussion about the lamp.

Ali noted that it really was a beautiful lamp, she told us the year, and she remarked that it was in great shape, but that it had a few chips.  That got me thinking – it’s how old?  And it only has a few chips?

In my first book (yes, I’ve written five so far), Choosing Your Power, I address the flaws that we each have.  It is those flaws that make us perfect.  We are wonderfully unique, quirky individuals.  We annoy each other, we inspire each other. We are diverse.  It is the flaws in each of us that make us human.

The pursuit of perfection is a never-ending endeavor and I think it’s misguided.  Don’t aim for...

Last week, some of you responded to my Wednesdays With Wayne by honoring me and telling me how much my writing meant.  Each note, each parade (or GIF of such), made me smile! Thank you!

Since then, I’ve had a few people comment on my ability to bounce into a room, smiling.  I almost always wake up that way. When I don’t (because we all carry stress sometimes), my work is to find my way back.  In general, I really AM happy.

How?

How is it that anyone can choose joy?

Can you?  Even in the midst of that “stuff” that gets in the way of your day, how can you bring your happy?  I’m calling it that because someone told me that’s what I was doing, “wow, you’re really bringing your happy today!”

I don’t wait for it to land on me or to be inspired into happiness.

I remember all that I can do in the day.  I have language shifts that I use to prompt me (from “have to” I think about “get...

Heyyyyy!  I’ve been writing a weekly blog for two years.  That’s right, this is Wednesdays With Wayne number 104!!!  I think I’d like a parade or something.  Actually, just drop a note that says, “that’s cool” or something.  

Which brings you to today’s topic – We All Just Want This One Thing…  when you get it, you feel good. When you give it, you might feel good; you definitely make someone else feel good.

So pass the “feels” today, okay?

What is it?
Well, it’s that sense of acknowledgment.
It’s feeling like what you did was noticed by someone and was meaningful.  

Why do we strive so much?  You are hoping to make a difference.  And maybe, just maybe, someone might actually tell you the positive impact you had on them.  

Yes, you might act selflessly sometimes (that’s self-less-ly).  

You give in a way that you don’t get acknowledged,...

What if it all works out okay?
No one ever worries about that, right?  

Don’t you usually get your undies in a bundle thinking about all of the things that could go wrong?  Being prepared is good. Obsessing over something that’s not likely to happen could have negative effects on your work performance, your “at home” performance, and ultimately, your health.

Here you are in this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne where the question is: what would happen if you recognized what got you to THIS place, right here, right now?  You are the oldest you’ve ever been. Something got you here - you have very specific strengths that are unique to you.  

You are reading this.
That means your brain’s frontal lobes are working, allowing you to plan your way to be here.  

And what that means is that you have a unique capability to figure things out.

And then what that means is that instead of worry (which is a horrible waste of...