DR. WAYNE PERNELL

Have you ever come face-to-face with doing something that is diametrically opposed to the advice you give others?  This is probably the toughest Wednesdays With Wayne that I’ve ever written because, well, I just had to reconcile my actions against my words.  I was looking for all kinds of reasons not to write this one.  I’ve even had some great concepts for other blogs I could do this week and yet, I don’t think I can rest until I get this out.

True confessions?  Maybe.  And I do so in the spirit of sharing authentically so that we all might get better.

I like to think I’m making a difference in the world, don’t you?  I mean, that’s why you’re here.  So let me ask you this… have you ever given advice that deep down you knew you had to heed?  Maybe it was to tell people to eat better or suggesting your favorite exercise that you’re not even doing anymore.  Maybe it’s as simple as...

Parents and people-managers have a lot in common.
Maybe you’re working with a team or perhaps you’re in a family, either way it’s very likely that you’ve faced some hard decisions about offering corrective guidance.  You’ve endured times when you’ve just hoped that people would get a clue and work things out on their own.  You’ve faced the dilemma of having to step in to say something all the while you’ve been wishing that the problem would simply disappear.

Welcome to this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne where we’ll look at the “hard” stuff.  This one is a tough one because it comes from recent personal experience in needing to own some stuff that wasn’t always fun to admit.  And still, to get better, we each have to own where we can get better.  This is the stuff you have to do in order to get to the stuff you might actually like to do.  

Keep in mind that management is a...

Have you ever dreaded something because, well, you know it’s going to be horrible?  A lot of people dread going to the dentist.  Here in the U.S., most of us dread going to the Department of Motor Vehicles.  But why?  

You were trained to expect misery!

In this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne we’ll look at how that happens and how to stop it!

Pregnant women are never met with “oh how wonderful, you’re going to have an amazing experience.”  Nope.  What happens is that everyone comes out with their own story of what pregnancy and childbirth is like.  I know this is odd coming from a guy; it’s something I’ve noticed and it’s a great example of what we do to spread the misery when we really don’t have to!

We play “Can You Top This” with our horror stories.  

“Oh, you were at the DMV for two hours?  I was there for three… four… five… two...

Over the past month, the topic of Work/Life Balance has come up so many times, I took it as a sign that you would want to take a closer look at that in your Wednesdays With Wayne this week!

Quick, if you’re only getting this by my Facebook page, then please click that link above and get it in your email.  And if you’re only getting this in email, then heck, connect with me on my Facebook page!

Here’s the question: is there really such a thing as balance? We look for work/life balance, but there’s no really balance, is there? In fact, it never feels like quite enough.  There’s always more to do at work. There is always something missing at home.   And free time?? Really?

So the whole concept of work/life as being some form of balance is really a total myth! What we have is life!

What We Have Is LIFE!

How we fill the time we have each day is totally up to us. Really. How we fill that time we have each day really is totally up to each...

Have you ever felt… done… just, done?  There’s no more to give and you might even be too worn out to receive.  You’re tired all the time and you’ve got a low–level of irritability brewing so you feel like you could snap at the people you work with and/or the ones you care about.  You feel stressed and you gravitate toward the “wrong” foods – you don’t need sugar, carbs, alcohol, or more coffee (no, really you don’t need them), yet you find yourself seeking them.  Even sex seems like it’s just too much trouble.  You wonder whether you’re depressed and to answer that question, you curl up in a ball on the couch or in bed (perhaps taking some chips, cookies, or ice cream with you) as you get numb with the TV.

Honestly, most of us have felt something like that at some point.

It’s called Burnout and it happens when you get sleep deprived and give until you don’t have...

How do you get people to support your dreams and goals?

The answer is that you do it the same way that super leaders become SO influential!  In this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne, you learn two simple secrets to becoming more influential and enlisting support for your goals and dreams.

Organizations (including families) begin their failure path when the leader(s) lose track of their values and purpose.  Without those core foundational elements, how can you expect people to line up to follow and support you.

We need to know what you believe in.  That means, YOU need to know what you believe in.  It’s time to reflect inward for a moment (yes, again) and call out three to five core values that you hold dearly.  It really doesn’t matter what they are as long as they’re yours.  You could value love, church, health, excellence, learning, competition, or greed.  Think about it, come up with your own list and recognize that really,...

You know when you see someone struggling with something and you are just itching to help them, but you don’t dare because you don’t have that kind of relationship with them?

Sure, sometimes you extend a kind gesture for a stranger.  I’m thinking bigger.  What I’m talking about is your ability to really step in and guide someone, to change the trajectory of their lives, if even for a moment.

In working with clients across the country (and around the world) the thing that stands out is that they are in a business of helping others.  As individuals, you want to have a positive impact on the people we encounter.

And while you might want to be that proverbial boy scout who walks the little old lady across the street, she has to want to accept your help.

The question then, is this:
How do you get people to accept the help and care you offer? 

The answer – TRUST.

In order to be influential, you have to demonstrate that you are trustworthy...

Have you ever felt like you were doing something that wouldn’t really make a difference, like you were spinning your wheels just to get through the task?  Maybe you feel like that at work. Maybe it’s that committee you joined and realized is strangling you.  Maybe it’s your relationship.  You know that something is off, but hey, you just keep going.

In this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne, you’ll poke around at the concepts of Alignment and Congruence and even a phenomenon called “the gambler’s dilemma.”  

Let’s start right there!  The gambler’s dilemma happens when you’re playing a game; you’re invested.  You’ve begun betting, and you realize that your hand is okay, but it’s only just okay.  It’s not great.  You’re not sure that you’ll win, but you don’t want to lose.  The dilemma is this – you’ve invested so much already,...

My clients’ journeys are never straight forward.  Like so many of us, you think you want one thing and really need something you hadn’t even considered.  

The theme of the comments (and wonderful compliments) that have come my way centers on how authentically I’ve helped people to become.  And in today’s Wednesdays With Wayne, the question arises – how do you “sell” the outcome that you give to people?

“I’m more me!”

“I’m so much more free to be my authentic self!”

Most people believe that they’re already being themselves.  I mean, don’t you?  And yet, it’s not until we step into the challenges of discovery of our personal values and the courage to step up or step back, it’s not until you’re guided or shown how you can be different that you really let go of who you thought you were supposed to be.  It’s at that point, you are on the path to...

How Do I Know?

Depending on where you put the emphasis, that could be read as HOW do I know?
Or perhaps, How DO I Know?
Or maybe, How do I Know?
Or is it, How do I KNOW?

For the sake of this Wednesdays With Wayne, we’ll go with the latter:
How do I KNOW?

People ask me all the time, how do I KNOW if…
…if it’s right to hire, fire, invest, go forward with this project or that project or…?  The list goes on.  

Here’s the answer –

1. Do some research – making as informed a decision as possible is important without delaying deciding because there will always be more information to be had.  Get some information.  Then…
2. Trust your gut – your instincts are probably good.  And finally…
3. Course correct as needed.

Honestly, you may never KNOW for certain if the choice you made is the right one.  You can only know the results.  When you connect the dots, you’re looking backward to see what...