DR. WAYNE PERNELL

If you’re like a lot of people, you’re happy to put 2016 behind you.  Wow, so much bad stuff happened.  

There are fewer of us, it seems, who feel like we gave a lot to 2016 and it gave a lot back.  We look at what happened and don’t judge it as bad or good, necessarily.  We simply acknowledge that it happened.  We acknowledge that we have – or had – feelings about what happened.  Most likely, what occurred in 2016 didn’t happen TO you.  It happened as a result of any number of circumstances.

As you’re wrapping up 2016 and heading into 2017, consider what this coming year will hold.  Consider your feelings as you look back and reflect on your state of mind as you look ahead.

So often we look back with relief and look ahead with hope.  

Sometimes we look back wistfully and look ahead with dread or apprehension as if to say, “dang, if that’s what last year held, I’ve got to really...

I just got a great big lesson and I’m wondering if you get these too –

It’s so rare that this happens and yet, it seems that every time I get mad about the way I’ve been treated, I get it wrong.  And then I say or do something that isn’t living from my best Self.  

Deep down I KNOW that I’ve had an amygdala hijack.  I’ve felt put-down, let-down, or shut-down.  I’ve gotten my feelings hurt and I’m going to make sure the other person knows how I feel.  And then, what comes out of me is just me being a poo-head.  (That’s a technical term.)

It’s a loss of perspective.  

We get it wrong when we lose perspective.

It’s just that simple.  That’s why even the highest performers need coaches and advisors – for perspective.  We get better when we have someone on the outside guiding us to our next level, a level that we can’t see.

In regaining perspective, we...

The two skills that every leader needs for success can be practiced, refined, and honed.  I’d like to assume that because you’ve found me and this precious space of Wednesdays With Wayne that you’re probably already pretty good at one of them.

The first is the place from which you build trust.  It is only when you say what you intend and then congruently take action that you show true credibility.  Are you living authentically or are you one person in one situation and someone else with different values and goals in another?  Certainly, our behavior and demeanor might change situationally.  Personal values and integrity do not change however.  What this means is that though you might behave on a range of behavior whether you’re at the grocery store or in a board meeting, your values will come through.  If you value people, you won’t be condescending to a clerk and professionally poised in front of your work-group....

Busy is NOT something to boast about.  Though it may feel good to work through lists or chug through your day, imagine an alternative answer to the question, “Hey how’re you doing?”

1. Oh, dang, I’ve been really busy – things are really busy here
2. I’m feeling really great, so grounded after taking some time for myself

We’re all so busy, especially right now.  We’re in the midst of preparing and planning, closing out the year, shopping, and holding it all together.

We ARE holding it all together, right?  

Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it.  There are so many details to track and hold onto.  They’re in your head, in your calendar, and on your phone.  There are so many people that depend on you for so many things.  No wonder it’s easy to answer the “how’re you doing” question with, “…busy!”

In all of the noise, it’s essential to plan (yes PLAN)...

It’s possible that last week, you said a word of thanks before diving into your large, over-mounded Thanksgiving Day plate.  It’s likely that you ate, and then ate that bit more.  And then with a sigh, you muttered your resolutions for the rest of the year, knowing that more indulgence just might be headed your way.  As Black-Friday and then Cyber-Monday came and went, that giving of thanks from just a week ago seems to have faded away.  

Are we not still thankful?

We all fall down sometimes, we get off track, and it’s what we learn as we correct that, getting back up that sets our course for the future.

Today I stepped on the scale before heading out for yet another flight across the country.  The numbers that revealed themselves to me opened my eyes to a problem that we all face.  Focus.

I Lost Focus

I was doing so well.  Over the past year I shed 50 pounds and cinched my belt up eight inches.  And in the last few weeks ...

Jessica, a flight attendant, shared with me how three of her closest friends were taken in a freak boating accident.  She was cheerful and told me that she chose to be.  She said that the alternative was untenable.  In Choosing Your Power, I note:  to be able to look at what you have and marvel at the wonder of it’s being there! When you start each day from a place of true gratitude for the gifts in your life, No matter what those gifts are, your perspective changes.

It’s easy to look at problems. It’s easy to look at how much you don’t have. The battle to keep positive can only be one by keeping a positive. Here, energy gets energy.  Focusing on doing something positive builds more positivity.

What positive attitude will you have this long weekend?  How will you carry it forward?

To those in the U.S., Happy Thanksgiving!  For you, my dear reader, I am grateful.

Be sure to check into www.DynamicLeader.com for resources you...

The past several posts have been concepts taken from my #1 Best Selling Book, The Significance Factor.

How you live your life matters.

What you believe about yourself, about others, about the way the world operates… that all matters too.  Because, ultimately, that shapes who you become in the world.

If you want your circumstances to change – to really improve – so you can be more you and ultimately experience more freedom, then you need to take steps to make that happen.  Sometimes they’re small steps.  Sometimes, they’re relatively big.  Really, it’s all relative.  What is a “big step” for you might come quite easily for someone else and vice-versa.

Start with your values.  

Do you know what they are, explicitly?

Look at how you gauge success.  

Are you still seeking the goals you thought you wanted a few years back?  Are they what you want right now or are you on the path of “supposed...

Your candidate won… or didn’t…  either way, you’re in a position to help someone who could really use your presence right now.  

It’s time.

Reach out…  Now more than ever, we need each other. Certainly, one of the key factors in true leadership that is also foundational to ultimate success comes down to this one thing:  how you help.  

To whom did you offer a helping hand today, yesterday, last month, or in this past year?  Are you present at home, at work, in your community, or across the globe?  What are you doing to better others for which you don’t actually need applause or a parade?  In this time of “look at me” and “me too,” it’s really important to seek those who could use your unique gift.  Be there.  Help someone get just a little bit better today because of what you have to offer.

In The Significance Factor, I discuss how important it is to give back...

I’m a father, a husband, a son, a cousin, a kick-ass High-Performance advisor, a senior consultant, a director of organization development, a neighbor, a customer, an author, a speaker, and on… and on… and on….

Each of these roles is in relation to another.  To you, the reader, I’m the author and perhaps your advisor.  To my wife, I’m her husband.  To my kids, I’m the papa.  Each person I encounter wants or needs something different from me.  At my core I don’t change.  Yet for each person, I’m different.  

We all are.  We’re different people to each person we encounter.  Never was that more clear than when I was a pre-school teacher.  Each little being had their own way of encountering the world and interacting with those around him/her.  Each had his/her own level of wonder.  And each needed something different.  As the teacher, I had to be different in...

Oh sure, you’re successful.  Aren’t you?  

Success means so many different things to every person.  The thing is, most of us headed down the path of “supposed to” and ended up not feeling very successful once we arrived.  

So the concept of what success really means begs for a redefinition on a regular basis.  That is, when was the last time you really evaluated or re-evaluated your life’s trajectory?  We chase after that feeling of “I’ve got this” or “I made it!” and our journey teaches us something… There’s More!

We ache for more!

Feeling dissatisfied with where you are isn’t a bad thing.  And, that said, being grateful for what you have is a really good thing.  So where’s the balance?

The balance is in recognizing that you can be happy with what you have and still ache to have more, be more, serve more, do more.  You can be dissatisfied and grateful at...