DR. WAYNE PERNELL

Life can be pretty complex sometimes.  What I bring to you via my Wednesdays With Wayne often reflects the themes that are coming up for my clients pretty regularly.  Sometimes, what I write about is parallel to what’s going on in my own life.  So by joining me here, we’re working through some things together.  Thanks for that.  It’s a pretty amazing journey and it’s good to have you along!

As we enter the third month of this year, it’s not a bad time to give some thought to what you intended as you stepped into 2017.  I taught my kids to ask themselves this question:  Is what I’m doing right now getting me closer to or further from my goal?  That’s an important question because it presupposes that you actually set goals (vs. wishes) and that you are taking action to move towards them.  

It’s the beginning of a new month and we're still in the first quarter of the year, so it’s a GREAT...

We recently switched the kind of pans we use when cooking on the stove.  Sure, that’s a strange thing to think about for a Wednesdays With Wayne topic.  And here we are.  What do stovetops, pans, and you have in common?

Conduction!

Sometimes the pan brings elements to the food being cooked that we don’t always account for.  There are flavors that come through based on the type of pan you use.  AND there’s a cooking speed that certain pans have, and that affects the food.  That is, some pans heat up quickly and transfer that energy to the food evenly.  Some seem to take forever, but when they’re at temperature, they hold it.

So… to bring this analogy back to you – what do you bring to your day?  How fast do you come up to speed and how brightly do you burn?  Do you hold that energy throughout your day or do you need new infusions of energy to keep you going?

You transfer your energy to fuel your...

What’s next for you?  Not, what are you working on now, but really… what’s next?

It’s a huge question because in the world of motivation, that’s the key.  In this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne you get to do a little reflecting and THIS will help your leadership.

I recently finished shooting a series of videos for my online course on Leadership, Success, and Significance.  When the last one was done, it didn’t feel great.  I didn’t have a surge of “wahhooooo!”  I didn’t feel relief.

I wanted to think about what’s next.  It turns out, there’s some research in the area of neurochemistry that backs up the great feeling that comes with “next.”  Being almost at the finish line drives you to feel a whole lot better than actually crossing the finish line.  

Research in aging shows the need for a need for “next,” too.  To stay engaged, we need to...

You know those moments when you think about something and cringe?  You know, the time that you look back and you just  know you could have handled something differently?  And then there are times that things go sideways and you don’t know how, but you end up feeling badly about how something seemingly so small played out to become that conscience-heavy burden that you now carry.

While that seems to happen less and less, the thing is… it does happen.  In this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne, we’ll look at the one “dance” that we all need to know… it’s what I call The Dance Of Forgiveness.  

It’s something we do for ourselves or, more likely, to ourselves when we replay what might have been.  Sometimes, we need this Dance Of Forgiveness as a reset for our entire mindset for the day.  That thought cascade of “now what” will be offset and reset by reframing.  Instead of “now...

Never was I struck by the obstacle of ego more than with a recent group I was coaching.  Some members were so mired down by the need to hold onto control that they failed to look beyond what they already knew.  In so doing, they fought for being “right” and missed key opportunities to propel themselves to the richer, fuller lives they claimed to want.

The one key thing that all leaders need to get out of their way is… themselves.  That’s it.  That’s so simple, right?  If you want to grow, then you’re growing into something that you’re not already.  To do that, you have to do something (or think something) that you haven’t already.  So what needs to get out of your way?  You.  

Leaders learn.  They lean in and are aggressively hungry for new knowledge, new experiences, and new applications of what they're taking in.  Real leaders aren’t spectators, vaguely curious about how...

It may sound odd to say that HOW we think affects WHAT we think and that now, more than ever, we all need to understand certain cognitive processes.  Multiple studies over this past decade have explored the dual-process concepts of how we think.  

Have you ever been talking with someone (in person or even on Social Media) and the conversation turns into an argument that ends up going sideways?  You wonder how could a rational person think that way.  Your friendship might be threatened because the need to defend the deep belief system is so powerful.  

In this Wednesdays With Wayne you’ll learn how to use both types of thought processes to your advantage.  It’s a little different than my usual writing, because heavy academic studies make this kind of dry.  So I’ll break it down a bit and give you what you need on this page.  Just stick with me here and, in the comments, let me know what you think!

First, start with the notion...

We all have something we’ve hung onto for too long.  Maybe you have a habit.  Maybe you even have a resolution… a New Year’s resolution from four or five years ago… maybe yours is a “someday” kind of thing.  It’s time to give it up.

Yes, really.  As your advisor I’m saying that if you’ve hung onto something for this long, it is no longer driving you.  It’s an anchor.  You’re not feeling driven by it.  You’re actually feeling guilty and weighed down.  It’s now a “supposed to” instead of a “want to” or “joyfully get to.”  

I have a couple of academic pursuits on my list that I’ve been dragging with me for about two decades.  Someday, I’ll study xyz and then . . .

And you know what?  “Someday” isn’t on the calendar.  I’m not compelled to make that happen.  It was on the...

From the fifth floor, my hotel room balcony looked over the 17th hole of a pretty difficult golf course.  The water hazard was big enough to allow boats their passage, though only waterfowl frequented this one.  

I’m not much of a golfer, but I do know a good stance and positive intent when I see it.  That all looks so different from distraction and hope.

And that’s the message for today’s Wednesdays With Wayne.  Thanks for being here.  From my perspective, several things helped the golfers get where they wanted to be.  As you read this, think about your daily life and how what I saw in these men and women could relate to your day.

The first thing I saw was intent.  They had a target, a singular goal, in mind.  They weren’t going to shoot for this hole or that hole or “maybe somewhere over there.”  They were deliberate.  In Choosing Your Power, I talked about having an EPO – Envisioned...

I wish I could just wave a magic wand and have all of this done for me.  We humans wish a lot.  We want things done for us while we take action in the opposite direction quite often.  We’ll wish to lose weight, become more fit, speak a new language, have more money, take more vacations, etc.  And then, we sit on the couch eating chips and watching TV.  

This blog post is about your life, today and at this time next year.  We’ve just turned a calendar page….  Heck! We just threw out the old calendar and put up a new one.  What that means is that you get to build what you want this year.  

In Choosing Your Power, I talked about having an EPO – Envisioned Positive Outcome.  What do you see for yourself at this time next year?

You can make New Year’s Resolutions.  For most people, those are empty wishes.  But you’re not most people, are you?  Nope!  You’re here and that means...

If you’re like a lot of people, you’re happy to put 2016 behind you.  Wow, so much bad stuff happened.  

There are fewer of us, it seems, who feel like we gave a lot to 2016 and it gave a lot back.  We look at what happened and don’t judge it as bad or good, necessarily.  We simply acknowledge that it happened.  We acknowledge that we have – or had – feelings about what happened.  Most likely, what occurred in 2016 didn’t happen TO you.  It happened as a result of any number of circumstances.

As you’re wrapping up 2016 and heading into 2017, consider what this coming year will hold.  Consider your feelings as you look back and reflect on your state of mind as you look ahead.

So often we look back with relief and look ahead with hope.  

Sometimes we look back wistfully and look ahead with dread or apprehension as if to say, “dang, if that’s what last year held, I’ve got to really...