DR. WAYNE PERNELL

In surrounding myself with exceptionally high performers, I’m continually surprised by those reporting feeling stuck.  Well, I’m not surprised that people feel stuck. We ALL feel stuck sometimes. What surprises me is the language that some people use when they claim to be on target for a breakthrough.

In the last few days, I’ve heard people talking about “removing roadblocks.”

They proudly exclaim that there are no more blocks to their success.  

I’d like to celebrate with them except that your actions take you to where your thoughts lead.  So, if I told you to think about anything unique but do not think of a unicorn… Well, you’d have to get an image of a unicorn before you thought about something not that.  

“I’ve got no roadblocks!”

That is, unfortunately, not a celebration-worthy statement.

“I’ve created a clear path!”  That’s different. Roadblocks and...

I would be among the first to cheer you on!  And this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne might surprise you.  I still want to cheer you on.  Of course I do. You’ve got a lot to do this year and 2020 promises to be big and bright.

AND…

I’m going to say something that is counter to my mentors.

It’s the opposite of so much that’s out there.

I’m going to advise you to SLOW IT DOWN.  

Weird, huh?  How can you even consider slowing down when there’s so much to do?  

There’s so much you want to do.  

There’s so much happening that you almost feel behind already.

You’re only in the second week of the New Year.  How can you be feeling like you’re falling behind already?  

High performers tend to see all that they could do and then they want to get it all done all at once.  When it doesn’t all come together, there’s a sense of feeling...

Is it just me or does anyone else feel slightly sad that people look at the past year and bid it good riddance!  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people say that they’re happy to have that year done and behind them.

As you read this, I’ll poke you a little bit here.  I mean, again, my aim is to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable.

Are you one of those who is so glad to see the door close on this last year so that you can start this one anew?  

I’ll admit that the turning of this calendar page is a little different for me personally this time.  There’s a lot I’m looking forward to in this coming year and decade because there’s a lot I’m looking forward to creating and producing for myself and others.

I’m not happy that the year has come to a close.  I’m not sad about it either.  

It’s a thing.  I got out of the year what I put into it. ...

It’s dark.  Your mind whirrs.  Your stomach growls.  You wander to the kitchen and find your way to the refrigerator.

You open the door and suddenly…

This is where this tale gets cool…  YOU ARE LIKE YOUR REFRIGERATOR. Want to know how?

Of course you do.

You find your way to the refrigerator, you pull open the door, and all of the darkness in the room rushes inside the ‘fridge.  

No, no… that’s not what happens at all.

You open your refrigerator and one light, one tiny bulb, illuminates the whole kitchen.  The light rushes out and everything seems almost too bright.

This week’s Wednesdays With Wayne falls during Hanukkah and on Christmas.  Use this as a reminder as you gather with family and friends from now into the New Year:  YOU carry the light. One tiny light. You shine it brightly and it floods over everything around it.  You do not let the darkness rush in. Your light-filled energy...

Is giving selfish?

The answer isn’t all that straight-forward.  In fact, it’s kind of complicated. And, as with many situations, often it comes down to: It depends.

Numerous studies over the past several decades (yes, decades) reference “the reciprocal benefits of giving.”  The bottom line from all of the research boils down to this: We feel good when we give.  

Now comes the nuance – 

There are some people who give for the sake of being noticed for giving.  They want their giving to be recognized, acknowledged, and praised. It’s then that the good feelings are generated.

Others give, knowing that in so doing, they have helped the other person in some way.  The feeling good is an internal acknowledgment.  

We often don’t hear directly from those who give.   The point here is that when your values point you to giving back or lifting someone else, you just do that.

Values can be learned and...

Next week, I’ll be in Dallas shooting a half-hour segment on CBS.  

It’s great to get a two-minute spot.  It’s amazing if they (the producers) gives you a three-minute spot.  If you push to three and a half or four minutes, they’re squeezing someone else out for you.  

I get a half-hour to share my message!  

On CBS!  

And I’m super-excited!!!

I’ll be discussing how to make, and keep, New Year’s resolutions.  

We’re in mid-December and it’s not too early to be thinking about what this new decade will hold.  Some people say things like, “let’s see what the New Year brings.” Nope. It’s what YOU bring to the New Year.  That means that what the New Decade holds for you is what you bring to it.  

You’ve seen people with empty wishes backed by limited action.  You might work with them, live with them, or notice them in the...

Progress, not perfection?  I think progress IS perfection.  As we enter the last month of the decade, most people will dwell on the things they didn’t do.  And we ALL have things left uncompleted at this point.  

Two things:

1. You get to choose what you want to complete and what you want to close a door on.  Putting that thing away because it no longer fits the path you’re currently on is a manner of completion.  The rules are no longer “you started, you must see it through to the end.” The rules are simpler: YOU GET TO DECIDE WHAT THE END REALLY IS.

AND

1. We’re in the last month of the decade!  Look back on all of the things you HAVE done.  You accomplished A LOT over the last 10 years. You’re a different person from the person who started this decade.  You’ve learned, you’ve attempted, you’ve failed, you’ve learned, you’ve attempted, you’ve grown.  

...

While most of us practice gratitude all year long, we’re at *that* time of year where we reflect and give thanks.  Tomorrow (in the United States) is Thanksgiving and I wanted to make sure that you knew how special you are to me.  

You keep me inspired to stay in the conversation.

You inspire the challenge.

For today, tomorrow, and all year long, you need to know that I truly appreciate you for being on this journey with me.

It’s a journey of ripples and I believe we each makes a difference.  Each of us, a person at a time. It simply #StartsWithOne . . . you!

Thank you!

In a discussion with a high-performance brother, he commented on something that got me thinking.  We were talking about what it means to be able to get up every day with a sense of purpose. It feels good to want to do more, have more, BE more, and serve more greatly.  

We then started talking about why some people don’t feel that way.  

We humans are gifted with something special.  Our brain’s frontal lobes help us plan and sequence.  We have the ability to think forward and to choose to improve.  

And this was the conversation stopper: 

We’re the only beings that can choose not to improve ourselves.

Think about every other animal or even plant.  If you block a plant’s light by putting an object in front of it, the plant will lean out to be able to get sunlight.  If you give a chimp a banana in a box that’s behind a caged wall and just out of reach, the chimp will create tools to get to the...

We have good intentions.  The term is API or POGI which stands for Assume Positive Intent and Person of Good Intent.  Frame interactions that way and you’ll be better off when you’re in conversation with someone.

There are people of good intent who shut others down inadvertently.  They’re just trying to help when they bestow their hard-earned wisdom on another.

And the conversation comes to a crashing close with the phrase, “You just need to be realistic.”  

There’s a word that kills dreams and that “killer” R word is: Realistic.  

What’s realistic for someone with a dream is far from realistic for those without.  I have a dream to touch people’s lives in such a way that a ripple of true intentional support of others is a mindset shift for the world.  For some, it means congratulating them on their efforts.  Others need to be reawakened. And others need education. My goal is...