DR. WAYNE PERNELL

I trust myself.  

This simple sentence lets you get over the fear of the unknown.

This lets you get beyond stage fright or even not being “perfect” at whatever it is you think you might be judged on.

Trust is about honoring another person.  And, oddly enough, trust is NOT about other people.  It’s about you. Trust is knowing that you have the ability to respond congruently, in alignment, with your truest self and that you’ll get through.  

Trust is about knowing that you will respond to any situation in alignment with your best self.

That means that when you feel judged, you can remind yourself, “I trust myself to continue in alignment.”  When you wonder whether you’re “good enough,” you can remind yourself of that very thing, as well. When you wonder whether you can get through a particularly difficult time, remind yourself that you will continue in alignment with...

It continues to surprise me how many people seek permission to be better, to step up into their greatness.  Even in working with my high-level high-performance clients, people you might think would be “crushing it” out there, the question of “is it okay to do this?” arises for them.

So the nudge you get from me in this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne is simply this:  Not only do you have permission to step into your next best version of yourself, but it’s necessary to do so.   

Just imagine yourself today making the same decisions in the same way you did ten years ago!  The you of a decade ago thought about things differently and therefore discerned what was best for yourself based on knowledge you had then.  You’re not that same you.  

Get it?  You’re not that same you.  And now, as this version of you, it’s imperative that you take your next steps deliberately and...

On this path to Significance, making our difference in the world, we strive, we climb, we slide, and we stride.  It’s messy. Luckily, we’re now in a place to acknowledge that “messy” is the norm. Before the internet, the axiom most lived by was, “never let ‘em see you sweat.”  

We all have those teeth-gritting moments wondering if this is going to work.  As a parent, as a business leader, as someone who wants more in your life. There’s a lot of faith you put into yourself.  It looks like hope and it feels like grit (or something that rhymes with that).

And onward you go.  You’re here. You’re reading this.  You’re getting your head back in the game.  Good for you! Seriously, good for you.

Look back at where you’ve been and you’ll notice something about your path: What you thought were the things holding you back were the lessons you endured to get to where you...

At lunch with a Silicon Valley thought leader, we discussed what it takes to be deliberate in every aspect of your life.  We spoke for hours and an amazing analogy dropped onto the table:

One sharp sword is better than a thousand dull ones.

At the time, we were discussing how some people (myself included) hold onto things too long sometimes.  We hold on because we’re used to them being there. We hold on because they’re comfortable. We hold on because they might be useful someday.  We hold on because of what we put into getting them and so there must be value in there somewhere.

That nonsense relates to things, relationships, jobs, and habits.  

We hold onto things because when we acquired them, they had some value.  That perceived value was for the present or for “someday” when they might be useful.  

We hold onto relationships because of something that we saw and had.  And when two people, as individuals change...

I was just on ABC TV #ABC15 in Phoenix talking about happiness. Now, more than ever, we need to find that grounded place within us that lets us know it’s going to be okay!  With the storm of “stuff” we face every day, how can anyone be happy?  Have you seen the news?  

There are a lot of tugs on our emotions.  There are a lot of reasons to feel upset. And, you’re allowed to feel anything you wish.  No one is saying that you need to be jolly in the face of terrible upset. In fact, being human is so essential.  And having empathy as a human is so wonderfully double edged, isn’t it?  

But feeling bad doesn’t serve you and it doesn’t serve the people around you.  No amount of your feeling bad will help someone else who is in pain.  

Think about that.  Empathy is essential.  Understanding another human’s emotion has been highly correlated with success in life.  And,...

A dew-drop glistens on a leaf as the pomegranate tree sways in the breeze.  A squirrel stretches to reach the bird feeder for extra treats. The train whistles across the straight, miles from where I sit.  And my attention is drawn to all of it, simultaneously and sequentially. I can hear the clock ticking. I can hear the fish tank bubbling.  I feel the hard wood chair I sit on as the well-worn seat cushion is no longer supportive. My breathing is slow and, now that I pay attention to it, deliberate.

Now I Am Aware.

What might seem somewhat poetic is a space that we can each bring ourselves back to.  A simple mindfulness for NOW.  

This helps you with your leadership, your parenting, your partnership.  Sure. More than that, this helps you with you. Your current awareness puts everything, EVERYTHING, else in perspective.  

We humans have gotten to a place of URGENT that we seem to live in crisis wayyyy too often.  We need to fix that.

Thor holds out his outstretched arm and his hammer magically finds its way to him.  From the world of Stan Lee, “Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.”

You are granted an opportunity to do something grand; you get to meet someone you’ve idolized or create something special.  And something inside you churns.

This thing you’re committing to, you begin to wonder whether it’s the right thing and if you are the one to do it.  Personally, that feeling has hit me multiple times over my lifetime. You might relate: The first time I landed a big contract on my own, I didn’t know if I was worthy of the contract.  The first time I bought a car on my own, I questioned whether I was really worthy of a new car. Perhaps the questions of value were fleeting. And though passing quickly, the personal assessment was real.  

Remember first dates, job interviews, and as an entrepreneur, opening for...

The Pacific Princess is the ship highlighted in The Love Boat.  

Its sister, the Grand Princess, is a beautiful floating hotel where I spent an awesome 10-days on a cruise from San Francisco to Alaska.  During that time, I learned a lot about myself, my relationships, how I depend on technology, and leadership.

Ten days to deliberately disconnect is a long time and yet, it’s so short in the long run.  This week’s Wednesdays With Wayne brings you lessons from being at sea.  

Disconnecting

I didn’t bring my computer with me.

I brought my iPad “just in case” I convinced myself that I needed to log on or write.  It stayed in the in-room safe the entire time.

I brought my phones and used them for photos, though I do admit to clearing over 400 messages at one port so that I wouldn’t have that many to come back to at the end of the cruise.  

And what I realized is how simple life could be.  

Recovering from hand surgery has given me great insight and perspective on our human condition.  We take so much for granted, at least I did. I never thought about the complex action required of different muscles to hold, squeeze, and turn a cap on a bottle.  Or that I’d need to put my other arm through my sleeve first as I put on my shirt because my hand didn’t flex backwards that far yet (if ever again).

All of that got me thinking about how awkward life is right now.  I’m learning to do things, the “normal” things of daily life. I’m doing them differently.  This is giving me further fodder for my October retreat where we’ll not only focus on personal breakthrough plans, but also on creative thought processes.  (see www.StuckAtTheTop.com for more)

When was the last time you stepped into something as a truly awkward beginner?  Your mind tells you that you “should” know what to do. Your body tells...

You stand on a four-inch by four-inch post, laying on the ground.  It’s relatively easy to balance on. It’s almost as wide as your foot, so you feel supported.

We suspend that 4X4 post between two ladder rungs six feet above the ground.  
We put a $100 bill at the other end.  You feel a little shaky, but you convince yourself that you can walk across the post, from one ladder/support to the other and you’ll take that $100!

We elevate that post and extend it.  It’s now suspended between two buildings and you’re a dozen stories up.  You’re having second thoughts.

We light the other building on fire.
You wonder why anyone would walk that.
We remind you that there’s a $100 bill waiting for you.

Nah… you’re good.  No thanks.

We then tell you that your child is in that other building and that this 4X4 post is the only way in.  The building is on fire.

There’s still a $100 bill on the other...