DR. WAYNE PERNELL

What day is it?  At least with this in your inbox, you know it’s Wednesdays With Wayne day!  And what day is it of Stay At Home?  It feels like a LONG time, right? I have clients aching to get back to work to find purpose.  I have friends and family members who are in tears because they can’t do what they normally do.  

We’re inundated with moving target news and feeling like we have no control.  And, surprisingly, in the periods of relaxed calm, we are realizing something.

You’re finding out what works for you.  You’re setting the stage for the future.  How much can you actually do from a home base station?  It’s amazing, right?  

You might be noticing that what you valued, being on the go and struggling to get there and back, are actually vapor-like badges of honor that you needn’t wear again.  Personally, I was good at navigating the airports and being a road warrior. Now...

Pushed, Pulled, and Inundated.  This is a super quick one for you.  It’s an exercise that’s easy to do and it’s better if you do it with pen and paper so you can see what you’ve written.  Since you’re on a tech-device reading this, you could open a place for notes. Jot your thoughts down. It’ll be important that you do.  

Simple and easy.  Ready?

In the past three weeks, what three things – just three – have bugged you the most?

In the past three weeks, what surprising things did you discover or rediscover that you’re actually appreciative of?  List five!

The truth is that it’s easy to see the good, even amid the noise out there.  Your job, my DynamicLeader friend, is to see it, acknowledge it, and amplify it.

I’ve grown a lot in this last month in ways I didn’t expect.  You have too, I’m sure. (And no, I don’t mean your waistline.)

This...

The emotional roller-coaster is a real thing.  As a high-performer and super positive person, I’ll share with you that I’ve had an off-day here and there, too.  And I give myself permission to feel it and ride it out.

Here’s where my energy and emotions dipped:  I lost focus and worse, I lost purpose. For a day, my thoughts were dark.  I’m the person who is all about presence. I help people identify their values and create a vision and mission based on them.  I help people through transitions. And somehow on that day last week, I couldn’t focus on what I was doing or why it mattered.    

Gap-analysis – 

I knew where I wanted to be and what I wanted to feel (desired outcome).

I certainly knew what I was feeling (current baseline).

From there, I could see how wide the gap was.  This was a logic step to measure/quantify my energy and emotions.

Tactics based on current assessment...

THIS is the key to get you through ANY situation… ANY!  We all might feel like we’re living in some twilight-zone episode of an April Fool’s prank gone badly and that’s why you must remember this one simple concept.  

For 27 years, I taught martial arts classes for the Department of Parks and Recreation in a small town located just north of the Golden Gate Bridge.  Additionally, a fellow black-belt and I taught self-defense courses. In those courses I used to emphasize a particular mindset as part of knowing how to get through.  

One core concept allows us to keep going in the face of adversity.  That’s this: it’s not over, you’re not done. Unless you choose to give up, it’s not over.  Oh, our lives are all different from just a month ago. We’re all feeling the effects of an invisible enemy.  

Here’s the question to ask yourself to get through to the next moment and...

Besides being my wife’s birthday (happy birthday, Shannon!), today is a GREAT day to remind yourself about the choices you have.  

This mysterious disease seems to have inundated our planet; our freedoms as we knew them have been impinged upon, at least temporarily.  Being house-bound and socially distancing has created a new norm. This is a passing new norm.  In order to stay grounded, we need to remember the things we have control over.

I was able to share these tips on WGN9 Chicago, WCIU Chicago, and Fox Denver – 

• We used to focus on times to put tech down.  Now, during social distancing and isolation it’s time to make use of it as a great tool.  Reach out. Set times to break from your tech, and certainly use it to reach out and stay connected, face-to-face.
• Ask how you can help someone.  Being of help puts you in a position to feel good.  There are numerous studies citing the reciprocal benefits of...

Lift others.

Help others rise.

Do so deliberately, actively, and positively.

When the noise out there is so loud, YOU need to be the one to be the solid, grounded, sincere, compassionate voice of reason.  

So many of us want to scream, “Everyone just calm the *@!&$!* down” knowing that doing so would only serve to add to the noise.  

Recognize that as a Person Of Presence, that’s you dear leader, it’s up to you to demonstrate your calm, being thoughtful and present.

That’s it.  It’s what we need more of right now.

Right now, more than ever, you can make ripples that affect others.

The idea that WE need to do something starts with the accountable “I” – We become WE when each of us, as individuals, chooses to become that person who makes a positive difference.  

Be the person whose voice and actions serve to lift others today.

That’s it.  Simple, right?

None of this has to be...

Your circumstances are a result of choices and chance.  Your current situation is a status in flux and you need to remember that no matter where you are in your life, you’re bigger than this.

You’re bigger than this!

You’re in a transition right now and you can aim for greater… if you choose.  And that’s the point. You get to choose to remember who you are.

You’re frustrated with something in your life.  Maybe it’s a lot of somethings. You’re not sure if you “should” feel what you’re feeling because you know that there are things in your life to be happy about, as well.  

Maybe part of the frustration is that you know that you’re bigger than your current situation and you feel stuck.  It’s normal. It’s healthy. Remember who you are. You’re bigger than any circumstance that is holding you back.  

And when you don’t feel held back and you feel like...

What if you did a “Plus-One” to everything you heard?

The ideas would multiply, and you’d be in a world of ongoing possibility.  

There’s a drama/improv-based exercise that works in business and, actually, every part of your life if you let it.  

It works by responding to everything you’re given with “Yes, and….”

So often we encounter the competitive and put-down based “Yeah, but.”  It’s meant to make one person superior and to demean the other person.  

Think about how you respond when you hear “Yeah, but….”  

You feel put down.  You feel like defending your position.

And what if you were given the gift of having your thoughts held by another as they added to them.  You feel validated and more likely to participate further.

It’s such a simple formula, “Yes, and….”  

So let’s bounce back to the...

Oh my gosh.  Growing pains are really hard.

I am personally experiencing so much of what I’ve written about in the past.  This is a time of discernment – what’s IN and what’s no longer serving me; that is, what’s OUT.

Now I’m in the thick of looking at my values.  While my core values remain true, my peripheral values, something I talk about in my best selling Dynamic Transitions book, have changed significantly.  I’m now in the throes of letting go of who I was and looking forward to who I’m becoming.  No, it’s not a wholesale change out. As I said, my core values remain. Who you’ve come to know will continue to be.  

What’s changing is this:  I’m about to climb mountains that I’ve never climbed before.  Therefore, I need new maps, new guides, new tools, and renewed endurance.  For me, these “mountains” are international stages, new books at a...

I share the stuff that my DynamicLeader® breakthrough clients are working on so you can see how “those people” who have so much going for them have this core thing we all have going… we’re all human.  That means that there are times that self-doubt enters. It means that there’s a process to learning how to talk to yourself.  

At one point in our conversation my DynamicLeader® breakthrough client said, “I’m not really good at complimenting myself.”  A couple of things sprang to mind. My first thought was that I really liked this guy. How could he say that he doesn’t compliment himself?  My next thought was about what he does tell himself. Is it negative or are compliments just absent? And my third thought was about how we need to practice grace with ourselves.  

What do you like about you?

What would you think I’d see as likable about you?

And beyond the judgement of likability,...