DR. WAYNE PERNELL

We use the term “train wreck” to describe something that’s horrible, but we can’t seem to look away from.  In fact, we’re drawn to it and if someone – a fellow human – is described as a train wreck, it means that there’s a lot that has gone really wrong in their life (and you’re glad you’re not them, bless their heart).  

Have you ever called yourself or anyone else that?  

Ohhh myyyy gawwwdddd… what a train wreck!

Your friendly train wreck is a human who has lost his or her way.  I recently heard a more tempered version of that term: “lost in the sauce.”  

And here’s your happy truth for this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne – no one is 100% put together all the time.  Not you, not me, not Tony or Brendon or Gary, or Simon, or Oprah or your mom, or your dad.  

No one has it 100% together 100% of the time.

When you’re in that space of unmotivated and...

Besides being pretty darn good at getting people unstuck, I also focus on your transitions and help you build a stronger “next” for yourself.  So let’s explore that a bit.

You are in a transition of some sort right now, right?

Yes.

Right, so is the transition you’re in related to your career, relationships (intimate or social), finances, health, or spiritual connection?

To transition means to move across.

Being in transition is to move from your current state to a new state.  That new state demands a new way of thinking. Many people look at a transition with dread.  YOU, dear high-performing leader, get to look at your transition with hopeful anticipation.

There are two answers you’ll need to get through this transition with grace and aplomb:

1. What outcome do you really want?

Don’t blow this by discounting your desires.  What outcome do you really, truly want? What would be the ideal?  What would you...

Every so often, words of wisdom echo through my head.  Sometimes the words make me cringe and sometimes they seem to inspire.

What’s great is that the words that didn’t really land for me back then seem to be more meaningful now.  I’m reflecting on the words of my dissertation chair, when I was first working on my doctorate so many years ago.

Decades…

And I was struggling to get it done.

In this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne I’m giving you the secret that he shared with me.  It was so simple, but at the time it just made me mad.  

He said, The Only Way To Do It Is To Do It.

Well duh.  I mean really.  I didn’t think that was such sage guidance.  And yet, several decades later, I reflect on those words that haunt me and wonder at how they still echo.  
They’re here because there’s great truth in them.  

Think about the resolutions you almost kept over the years.  

You had wishes, but...

People who work with me are pretty high achievers.  They’ve got a lot of outward success that they can point to.  What’s funny (odd, not humorous) is that they’re still in the struggle.

Most people look at others who are successful and think that “they’ve made it.”  While those viewed as truly successful look at themselves and wonder how to get better.  

There are Two Sexy Secrets to be found in this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne.  (By the way, if this isn’t coming to your inbox yet, please click that link and look around.  You’ll see a box to plug in your email. Easy-peasy!)

THE Secrets:

1. Keep at it.  Think of any elite performer.  What makes that dude from Aquaman so attractive?  Okay, he was certainly blessed with certain attributes, but you know what?  He deliberately crafted the ones for display. His showing up that way isn’t an accident.
    
   When you keep at...

The 80-year-old Japanese master softly utters these words:  

It looks like I’m doing nothing, but I’m doing it very well.

He smiles wryly and we all get it.  Leadership takes so many forms. 

He’s amazing and if you’ve ever been in the presence of a true master of his or her environment, you’re spellbound.  They demonstrate their craft effortlessly.

True mastery comes when you practice your craft and hone it over time.  

Leadership is a craft.  Allow yourself to practice and hone on your way to mastery.

I’ve studied magic and I’ve studied martial arts.

I’ve studied leadership, transitions, relationships, and communication.

I’m studying public speaking.

And, I can proudly say that I’m pretty good at each of those.  

I’ve studied guitar and I’ve studied Spanish.  I can modestly say that I’m not very good at either of those.

What makes the difference?  Practice.
...

As a leader, you’ve got goals for your company, division, unit, department, family, and self.  

You have a pretty good idea about what you want to accomplish this year.
You know what you have to do.

It’s Simple.  

To avoid failure just after this first quarter (yep, the hiccups that happen in March), you MUST recognize this one concept NOW:  

Simple isn’t always Easy.

People slip, fall off of goals, or miss targets because they lose focus.  

That’s other people.

You know that it might take some effort to refocus, recast, and reset.

That’s simple, and again, it’s not always easy.  Your job is to get feedback so that you can keep on track.  Hey! Your weekly dose of Wednesdays With Wayne is here to keep you on track and to remind you who you are.  

You’ve worked really hard to get here.  We’ve barely stepped into 2019. Look at all you’ve done previously.  Think about your...

This is the week of lie-preparation.
Good-bye 2018.  Boy oh boy, 2019 is going to be something.  This is the year that I…

What…?  What is 2019 the year that you do, become, or live into?

I call this the week of lie preparation.  We don’t mean to lie to ourselves. We just get used to it.  And then we get complacent.

Hey… it’s Wednesdays With Wayne and you’re here to snap out of it!  

You don’t get to wish that things get better.

Wishes aren’t resolutions.
AND
Resolutions aren’t real until you make them real.

Please do yourself a favor.  Make them real.

What is this the year of?  

I always name my year.  For me, 2018 was the year of implementation.  And, while I learned a whole lot more (I always invest in my personal and professional development by joining masterminds, going to retreats, and seeking high-level mentorship), I got a ton done this year.  In doing so, I laid a...

You’ve GOT to be looking to the year ahead right now, right?
Over this past week I’ve heard people talking about just making it through to the end of the year.  

You, a leader, are designing the end of your year.  You’re leveraging the time you have to make your difference now AND in the future.  

The turning of a calendar page really is THAT significant.  While it doesn’t have to be, what it represents is closure. And it represents starting anew.  


YOU GIVE IT SIGNIFICANCE

Leverage That

Here’s the point:  You can give ANYTHING extra significance.  

Deadlines and end-goals add significance.  That’s their purpose, by the way. Leverage them for yourself, for your team, and for your personal relationships.

Whether you produce one unit more of whatever it is you do or you do one more squat or take one more step or clean up one more thing or eat one less bite to get to whatever goal you’re after…...

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You overcome multiple obstacles daily and, in doing so, you have developed strengths that have gotten you through.  Congratulations… Yes, there’s more.

Leaders become GREAT leaders because they continue to build character.  Leaders who reach a level of success and stop working on themselves, fail.  They fail themselves, in the process letting down their organizations, their families, and their community.

Your character isn’t something that stops needing work.  The person that you see that is a man or woman of good character isn’t born that way.  Character is chosen by every decision, every single day.  

Your choice to engage on a particular path for your products or services says a lot about you.  Your choice in how you communicate that to your prospects, your current clientele, and your colleagues says a lot about you.  How you engage with your family pet before engaging with your family member as you...

YOU are in my circle and whether or not we’re on the same path (of course we’re not, you have your own path), I’d like to think that we can both challenge AND support each other along our different paths.  

Having just watched a compelling video released by Trent Shelton, I was struck by the part where he talks about people who say they support you but aren’t really there for you.  It’s a tough one to think about.  I think the message needs to be that they’re not really there for you in the way YOU want them to be there for you.  When you invest in growing yourself, people don’t tend to celebrate that. It can feel as if you are being dragged backwards or anchored to where you were.

Remember that people pick their own paths.  Sometimes their path of growth isn’t your path of growth, so what feels like being dragged back or lack of support is simply a fork in the road.

What support do you really need?
And, as a...