DR. WAYNE PERNELL

Heyyyyy!  I’ve been writing a weekly blog for two years.  That’s right, this is Wednesdays With Wayne number 104!!!  I think I’d like a parade or something.  Actually, just drop a note that says, “that’s cool” or something.  

Which brings you to today’s topic – We All Just Want This One Thing…  when you get it, you feel good. When you give it, you might feel good; you definitely make someone else feel good.

So pass the “feels” today, okay?

What is it?
Well, it’s that sense of acknowledgment.
It’s feeling like what you did was noticed by someone and was meaningful.  

Why do we strive so much?  You are hoping to make a difference.  And maybe, just maybe, someone might actually tell you the positive impact you had on them.  

Yes, you might act selflessly sometimes (that’s self-less-ly).  

You give in a way that you don’t get acknowledged,...

What if it all works out okay?
No one ever worries about that, right?  

Don’t you usually get your undies in a bundle thinking about all of the things that could go wrong?  Being prepared is good. Obsessing over something that’s not likely to happen could have negative effects on your work performance, your “at home” performance, and ultimately, your health.

Here you are in this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne where the question is: what would happen if you recognized what got you to THIS place, right here, right now?  You are the oldest you’ve ever been. Something got you here - you have very specific strengths that are unique to you.  

You are reading this.
That means your brain’s frontal lobes are working, allowing you to plan your way to be here.  

And what that means is that you have a unique capability to figure things out.

And then what that means is that instead of worry (which is a horrible waste of...

A friend of mine brought a rescue breath to me by reminding me of something.  He said just four words to me and I think those words actually changed my life.  At least, they (re)opened my eyes and I began to see beyond the details that felt like they were burying me.

Your Wednesdays With Wayne this week is here!

Short and to the point is this:  High Performers have a lot going on.  It is easy to lose track of a detail here or there and that’s usually not critical.  Usually. Since High Performers come back to check on the details, the truth is, they’re not lost for long.  

Where people with a lot going on get buried is when all of the details seem to inundate you all at once.  Ever had that sense of almost being on top of things when six of the projects you’re working on need your attention?

And you begin to wonder… Is Any Of This Worth It?
You might want to stop and turn back.
You might feel like if you lose control of one...

Oh my goodness, that’s messy!

Is it, or is it that your life is all on track?
Everything is falling into place perfectly.  Birds sing and fold your laundry, taking it from the line where it was hung, and unicorns float by on their rainbow paths.  

What kind of fantasy poop is that?

The truth is, your life is messy.
It’s working, but it’s messy.

My life is messy too.  We live in a really messy world.  Unless you’re some Tibetan Monk living a simple life with no possessions and focused ONLY on a spiritual journey, your life is messy.  (And even then, the monk might say his life was messy. I don’t know; that’s a separate interview.)

Right here, right now, your Wednesdays With Wayne focuses on embracing the mess!  This is not a directive to go out and MAKE your life messy.  No, far from it. We all have friends, family, colleagues who are struggling in their lives – there’s depression, drug abuse,...

It’s the small stuff.  The little acts, thoughts, or gestures we make, the dialogue we have with ourselves and what we encourage or tolerate from others, how we step into or away from each situation time after time after time – that’s what makes us who we are.

A pebble is a really, really small thing.  Until… you find it in your shoe! That pebble in your shoe is an irritant.  You can focus on it and somehow the pain of it being there grows. You can ignore it and yet you’ll still be limping the same way that if you practice something long enough, whether you know it or not, you begin to embody it.

In this, the 100th Wednesdays With Wayne blog, we’re looking at what it is you do or think that makes you who you are.  And ultimately, we’ll look at what you might be able to do differently to create a different you from the one you were 20 years ago, 10 years ago, two years ago, or even today.  I’m a BIG fan of...

A friend of mine was just verbally threatened by someone he had attempted to do business with.  The deal went badly, not some Hollywood version of a deal-gone-wrong, but certainly not the way either of them wanted.  He was blamed and then threatened. It was unwarranted and because of the way this gentleman deports himself, he didn’t fire a volley of threats and epithets back.    Instead, he withdrew, somewhat shakily because to him, this was an assault.

He didn’t deserve what was slung at him.  Misplaced anger made him the target. Most “outsiders” had the perspective that the whole deal wasn’t right, not that either side was bad or wrong.

And here we are.  In a world where assault, mentally, verbally, and even physically has somehow become almost okay.  What is okay and what isn’t?
We’ve lost the edge of discernment and it’s time to get it back!

Here, in this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne,...

“I could hug you for that” I exclaimed as my client noted that her latest struggle was based in making a decision that was actually right in front of her.  She thought she’d have to look further. She noted, “I struggled because it was too easy.”

Oh my gosh!  The irony, right???  

How often do you make things harder than they need to be?  Dang! Navigating through life is hard enough. Why make it harder than it is?  

Welcome to this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne where I get to remind you that sometimes you actually already have what you need.  Sometimes you have enough.
Always, you ARE enough!!!

What are you struggling with?  You know, you have worked to hard and come too far just to get this far.  You’re still growing unless you’ve decided not to.

Your challenge today:  What’s right in front of you that you thought you’d have to work harder to find or have?  (Note that the...

Let’s jump right in for this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne.  There are three things that will propel you forward right now.

You’ve got to step into a place of courage; do that thing you know you should do.  Take one little action to give you the growth you need to be that bigger person you know you can be.  No one is waiting to discover you. Step forward. (Pick up the phone, write that thing you’ve been sitting on, get out your running shoes, whatever it is, take that first step.)

Practice that with consistency.
Take that step once.
Then, do it again.
Prove to yourself (this isn’t for anyone else) that you can do the thing and do it again.  It’s not a one-and-done.

You’ve got to stay on it and commit.
Demonstrate your commitment to being a better you, every single day.  Sure, maybe consistency and commitment go hand-in-hand.  If you see it that way, then it’s only a two-step process!

If you want to be in a...

And then one day, they called you “doctor.”
And then one day back in middle school, your legs got longer.
And then one day all of a sudden, fame hit.
And then one day, the contract came through.

What are you working on, right now, that seems to be taking forever to get through?  In this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne we’re looking at all that went into creating that sense of One Day, that shift from what was to what is.  

You know that your path isn’t one of “poof, one day this magic all happened.”  The evidence of the magic in your life today is the hard work you’ve been putting in for years.  The songwriter who suddenly “made it” didn’t pick up a guitar the previous day. She worked at it for years.  

And personally, my first book didn’t take me just a year and a half to write.  Nope, it took closer to fifty years to write.

No one sees the work that goes into the daily practice....

You start your day as a winner!  You have already won the day! And in this week’s Wednesdays With Wayne, I’ll challenge you to hold onto that feeling!  

Because you organized your week on Sunday and last night you reviewed your day ahead, you already know what you get to do today.

You’ve already won this day!  Why would you let anyone take that away from you?
This day is yours!  It’s yours to bring joy to others.  It’s yours to serve fully and bring even greater significance and meaning to your life.

Too often I’ve heard the stifled cry of “I’m doing okay, but I just don’t feel fulfilled.”   There’s a sense of overwhelm mixed with dread. The goal is to make it through one more day. You’re not here to “just get through it.”  You’ve got much more life in you than that. Right? (Remember that!)

As I’ve often suggested, take a moment – reflect on...