Working with a mentor and coach can be tough. I guess it’s supposed to be. Each of us lives our lives to the best of our abilities and no one really wakes up any morning going, “gosh, I wonder how I can get further mired down in my own blind spot muck today.”
It’s why high performers don’t stop improving. They seek an outside perspective. They know there’s more for their lives and they know they can’t see it all. Great athletes need great coaches. Great entrepreneurs and leaders all have great coaches.
And even as a great coach – yep, I’m known as The Exponential Success Coach – I have three advisors I work with for different parts of my life and business. I know what I know. I know what I don’t know. And, most important, I don’t know what I don’t know.
And neither do you. You don’t know what you don’t know. That’s a blind spot. We all have them.
I love this topic so much. It’s what reawakens the vital spirit in each of us. When we step back into Purpose and realize we not only can, we should be pursuing our passions. (For those of you who have been following my work, you know that I very rarely choose to use the word “should.” It very much belongs here! You should pursue your passions!)
But… but… but… what about the responsibilities?
No one said to stop being responsible. The key here is to reawaken to listening to the things that are actually calling you.
You Need To Listen To The Whispers
Your Passion Is Reflecting Your Purpose
What Is Calling To You – “…over here!”
You’re in your Purpose as a human when you follow the calling, the whisper of “over here.” It’s not just the “want” or clicking “add to cart” because something is on sale. It could be pursuing...
I get to do this.
Who gets to?
I get to.
Do I have to?
No, I GET TO!
We all have things we’ve stepped into doing that we’re not sure we are capable of. The project is too big. The prospect of failure looms large. And the judgment and self-doubt creep in.
You wake up and the first thought you have is, what do I have to do today?
It’s almost like you’ll be “caught” by someone for not doing the things that you put onto your own calendar. I have to do this, and that, and then this, and then that…
If you’ve ever tried to manage a family and do your work, you’ll get this. Kids can’t do for themselves yet, so you have to help them.
The project you agreed to won’t get done on its own, so you have to attend to it.
That’s where fear and anxiety creep in.
Did you keep track of all of the details?
Are you good enough?
Are you smart...
It’s said that if you put a frog in cool to lukewarm water and ever-so-slightly turn up the temperature, the frog won’t notice as it becomes acclimated to the higher temperature. When, at some point, the frog ends up in boiling water, it’s too late.
Kind of gross, I know.
What’s sad is when we do that to ourselves. We tolerate and tolerate and tolerate until we’re overwhelmed by something we would have never let into our lives if we were paying attention.
For me, it was clutter… piles of papers and reading material that was (is?) sooooo important, I just had to have it out where I could see it. If it were to be filed (or tossed) I might forget about it and then would never circle back to it.
You might think that if it were that important, certainly, I’d come back to it. The truth is that I don’t know if I would or not. I can tell you that I had a bad habit of saving stuff because I...
I just got back from a root canal. WooHooo!!! Such exciting news, I know. Pretty much everything in life brings with it lessons because of the meaning that we give to things. And we are amazing at giving meaning to things, right??
Is it hard to go to the dentist? Is it exciting to be referred to an endodontist for care? Um, well, it depends. It’s not the easiest thing to wake up in the morning and say, “Yessss! Today’s the day for my root canal.” Everything is hard until you experience it enough. Then, it becomes not so hard. That said, no one should become an expert patient when it comes to having root canals done.
The truth is that practicing anything that isn’t something you look forward to makes it easier and builds expertise. And practicing anything you do look forward to makes “the easy” even easier.
I’m an expert dish-doer. I can just get ‘em done. I don’t look forward to it and I...
Why does everything seem so hard?
Some people live their lives with that question, while others look like they’re floating from task to task, situation to situation with such ease.
The key is that it, whatever IT is, really can be easy.
What’s the thing that you’re focusing on?
What’s the smallest component of that thing? Ah, think even smaller.
If you were to stand pillars up in a row and had them arranged in size of height, tipping the smallest of the pillars into the next – much like dominoes - each would fall to the next and the next. The demonstration is one illustrating how moving the smallest can easily topple the biggest in incremental waves.
Be aware of the thoughts you tell yourself as you tackle your tasks, your conversations, or really any of your daily activities.
Make it easy, because it is.
Be mindful so that it stays easy.
Whether it’s coming through a divorce or packing...
I had a realization recently that was sparked by feeling really uncomfortable. I was almost defending what I had been doing for the past three and a half decades. While I’m always working on improving and I continuously learn and grow, I found myself defending my expertise.
It’s my area.
What happened that I felt like I needed to prove myself?
Old stories. It’s just that simple. A question got in that wedged doubt in and pushed the “not good enough” button. Old stories carried forward and the questions surfaced: “Do I actually know enough? Am I the right person to show up for this?”
So what’s The Truth?
The truth is that questioning worth is allowing the lie of an old story a lot of us carry forward. We’re good at what we do. We’re even experts when it comes to what we do. And when a small sliver gets in, just under the skin, it starts to fester.
Clean that out fast.
Here’s something that has come up over and over throughout the years and I don’t think I ever wrote it anywhere. It’s a way to keep yourself emotionally neutral when you’re dealing with family members or team members, managing up or down the line.
Here’s an especially great approach to use for yourself, too!!!
Focus on three things:
Counseling a team member or celebrating a win can use these steps!
Resetting goals for yourself can rely on these, as well!
“Hey (team member or family member or your name here), your job was to get (xyz thing) done in a particular way. That did/didn’t happen. In fact, what did happen was ________. What needs to happen next is (action steps or celebrations).”
Also, check in with what support might be desired to reach that goal.
And contract for an...
Spring has sprung and I’m looking at the past quarter wondering how the calendar pages are turning so quickly.
With a change in season, we’re all offered the reminder that a change in outlook is possible.
And I’ll push that further. Not only is a change possible, it’s necessary. Look at the baggage and wreckage you’ve taken with you from the past several years. We’ve lived with looming fear day after day. Our trust in the political system eroded, our trust in the educational system eroded, and worst of all, our trust in each other eroded.
How we approach the world affects everything and it’s important to be deliberate about that from the moment we awaken. Personally, I make it a habit to say “Thank You” as the first two words out of my mouth each morning. Yep, I start the day in gratitude for the day. And guess how that helps the rest of the day flow!
So today, the way you’d...
“I’m living the dream…”
“I’m still chasing my dreams!”
“I’ve given up on my dreams.”
What’s up with those elusive dreams?
You had them when you were younger. You believed that they were possible. You got into a routine (might we say “rut”), and now those dreams seem so far behind you that there’s no reason to reach back after them.
And that’s true, there’s no reason to reach backwards.
Stop reaching for yesterday’s dreams!!!
That doesn’t mean that you should give up dreaming, wishing, or desiring.
Here’s what it does mean: You might be holding onto something that anchors you to a past that’s unreachable. The famous quote from the old On The Waterfront movie, Marlon Brando utters, “I coulda been a contender.”
I think about dreams of the past the way I think about grieving a loved one’s passing....
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