The song, “I Did It My Way” begins with the line, “Regrets, I’ve had a few….” 

We’ve all had a few regrets. The key is not to live there. 
Shame, doubt, fear, guilt—those aren’t useful. They don’t serve you. They served to control you. And if you choose to dive into deep reflection, you’ll see that they don’t even originate from inside of you. 

New research reflects that we’re not born with fear, per se. There are innate “sensitivities” to loud noises (a startle response) and to a lack of support (extending to fear of falling).

🡪 We Need Context To Have Fear About Something 🡨

That means, we’re told how to feel about something, or we experience something that we don’t want to experience again. We are “sensitive” to staying alive.

Shame and guilt are imposed and as adults, we now get to choose what to do with those feelings. We each have formed some kind of moral compass to keep us from doing harm to others. And we make mistakes. We might go down a path that we learn is “wrong, “ and inadvertently hurt someone.

Does it do you any good to replay that over and over? Nope. It doesn’t serve you at all. You’re not a better person for feeling guilty. You’re a better person for realizing that you did what you did at the time because that’s who you were and what you knew at the time. Now, moments, days, or years later, you don’t get any “good human” points for feeling guilty. 

You get “good human” points by being a better human having learned from past mistakes.

Do something once, it’s a mistake. Understand that you made a mistake and do it again, that’s willful. You just need to own that you chose to do something. Then, choose to make that a part of your identity or not.

Awareness leads to choice. Then, own it or choose differently. 

Okay, if you can leave shame and guilt behind, you might be wondering about fear. 
Aren’t we right to feel afraid? Yep, you’re “right” to feel whatever you want to feel. Fear is there to alert you to something that you’re sensitized to. 

The key here is that you choose to acknowledge the fear versus react to it. Personally, I’m developing and bringing programs out that I’ve never done before in ways I’ve never done before. The fear of “what if you crash and burn? – What if all of the time, money, and effort you’re putting into this doesn’t pay off? You could be homeless and abandoned, unworthy and unlovable!” 

That’s quite a message from the subconscious, isn’t it? 

My response to my subconscious, “Thank you for the alert. My identity is changing. I’m growing by design. THIS IS MY NEW NORMAL.” 

Training the subconscious what your new normal is will allow you to live in discomfort. I’m comfortably uncomfortable, every single day.

The voices are there to alert me. Mostly, like an annoying reminder alarm, I’ll just dismiss them. I’ll thank the voices, then let them go. “Thanks for the alert. I’m being intentional. Please reset the alarm threshold so that this state is recognized as the new normal.”

The voices, they get to remind you, they don’t get a vote in how you are today. You create your tomorrow by living today and letting go of yesterday.  

Be grateful for the guilt and the fear. Thank your subconscious for the alert. And then, relax into knowing you’re safe and building the life you want.

If you want to go deeper with me around any of this, reach out. 

All the best to you and you launch further into this amazing year. You’ve got this!

Keep making your magic!

= Wayne =