The Power of Holding Space

wednesdays with wayne Jun 23, 2021

Four… Three… Two… One…

Did you know that most people can’t tolerate even four seconds of silence in a conversation? Four seconds?


When I work with teams and leaders, I’ll hold a silent space, counting eighteen seconds in my head. The squirming starts at about four seconds and almost invariably, someone says something to break the silence at about nine seconds.  What’s funny is that it’s often the leader in the group that breaks the silence.


Leaders need to be the ones to actually hold the space.


That’s how safety is created. You entertain the idea that everyone has room to engage and be seen or heard at their comfort level. And then… as odd as this sounds, the key is not to run over that.  


When I speak about being deliberately, actively, positively uplifting of others, I also comment on how important it is to see each other, human to human. Acknowledging each other, one to one, is so very powerful.


Whether at home, at work, or in the grocery store, practice eye contact (brief and not creepy) and a smile. Practice holding space for yourself, your family members, and your colleagues. Think about seeing other humans for who they are and what they’ve been through. Their lens is different from yours. Appreciate the viewpoint. Acknowledge them. I see you dear human, I see you! That’s it. Don’t DO anything. Just… Hold… Space.  Now, take a breath.


See you here next week!


= Wayne = 


Ready to leverage the concepts of leadership, authenticity, desire, and goal setting to a bigger, more satisfying life?  You have GOT to check out my small-group signature mastermind. It’s a breakthrough success group, it’ll be held in San Francisco in September, and NOW is the time to hold your seat! With just a dozen people in the room, the time to decide to be there is now! Go to and get ready to break through to your next level of success!


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