DR. WAYNE PERNELL

Have you ever been in a really bad fog bank?  It’s kind of surreal and a little scary.  

When it’s dark and foggy, uncertainty is amplified.

In the dark, we search for any hint of light.  Any small glimmer becomes a beacon for us.  If we have lights casting outward, we seek the edges of where the light casts.

When in the dark, we hit the high beams.  This gives us greater clarity.  We can see further.

When in the fog, we use the lower beams, and if we have them, we click on fog lights that illuminate the ground before us.  

High beams, like shouts of protest in the face of uncertainty, simply reflect back off of the fog and blind us further.  Regular beams, keeping steady, will get us through, but the fog lights illuminating the ground give us reassurance.

There is a ground.

We don’t have full clarity about the road ahead, but we know we’re not free falling.  There is a ground.  (In the martial art...

If you look back at what you’ve come through these past couple of months, it’s no wonder you’re exhausted.  We’re worn out by information that keeps changing, how even small comments are made political, and then there’s fear.  As a global culture, we’re done being misinformed and afraid.  

The truth is that it’s hard seeing businesses that we care about step away and fold while toilet paper is still ridiculously difficult to find.  This is a really odd time in our history and one big thing will get us through:  perspective.

When it’s a foggy day, we know that the fog will lift and that the sun is just beyond the cloud layer.  We have a perspective that we’ll get through.  

The difference between a foggy day and what we’re experiencing is a psychological concept related to perception: Object Constancy.  

It’s why magic is so fascinating.  If you put something...

People ask me what I talk about when I do TV and radio.  This week, I’ve been on eight different radio stations across the country and I’ve been interviewed on three TV stations (CBS, Fox, and NBC) and the week isn’t over yet!  

My team and I connected with the media to talk about what’s topical.  It’s similar to this Wednesdays With Wayne for you!  I tend to relate what’s going on for me or for my clients.  Let’s look at what’s going on for all of us as we’ve been working from home.

Tech Fatigue is a thing!  We’re exponentially online now more than ever.  Just two months ago we told our family members to put the tech away and connect with someone.  Now we’re pulling out the tech in order to connect.  And multiple factors cause tech fatigue.

First, we’re online exponentially more.  One executive I spoke with recently told me that his days have become...

Really fast – this isn’t political, it’s personal.

1. I believe that each of us is a leader.  If you’re being watched by anyone, you’re influencing them in some way.  That makes you a leader.  Own it.  
2. As a good human, you can help another.
3. We, as humans, wait for others to step in before stepping in to help.  It’s called “diffusion of responsibility” and we assume that if a situation is bad enough, someone (that’s someone else) will step in.
4. As an accountable individual, you and I each hold the responsibility and blame for not stepping in to help when we know we could have.
5. People fear being ostracized – cut out of the tribe – more than they fear most anything else.  We want to belong.
6.  Good humans sometimes don’t ask for help because they fear being judged for doing so.  You and I each have a responsibility to reach out when we need some support.

Leadership...

On a recent exclusive webinar, I outlined five key steps to true Powerful Presence.  Why would you even consider Powerful Presence during a time when we’re all on Stay At Home orders?  The answer is simple:  Because it’s needed now more than ever.  Your engagement with others, starting at home, with family and colleagues via zoom, and masked-up out in the community makes more difference now than it ever has.

Couples are spending more time together and while memes made fun of either impending divorce filings or babies being born nine months from now, the truth is that the rules of being intimate have changed.  When you’re underfoot and seeing each other all the time, when you’re feeling the pressure of being locked in with no way to get out, and when feelings erupt with no “normal” acceptable outlet, people push away.

And that’s why your powerful presence, your ability to be engaged matters.  It feels like...

What day is it?  At least with this in your inbox, you know it’s Wednesdays With Wayne day!  And what day is it of Stay At Home?  It feels like a LONG time, right? I have clients aching to get back to work to find purpose.  I have friends and family members who are in tears because they can’t do what they normally do.  

We’re inundated with moving target news and feeling like we have no control.  And, surprisingly, in the periods of relaxed calm, we are realizing something.

You’re finding out what works for you.  You’re setting the stage for the future.  How much can you actually do from a home base station?  It’s amazing, right?  

You might be noticing that what you valued, being on the go and struggling to get there and back, are actually vapor-like badges of honor that you needn’t wear again.  Personally, I was good at navigating the airports and being a road warrior. Now...

Pushed, Pulled, and Inundated.  This is a super quick one for you.  It’s an exercise that’s easy to do and it’s better if you do it with pen and paper so you can see what you’ve written.  Since you’re on a tech-device reading this, you could open a place for notes. Jot your thoughts down. It’ll be important that you do.  

Simple and easy.  Ready?

In the past three weeks, what three things – just three – have bugged you the most?

In the past three weeks, what surprising things did you discover or rediscover that you’re actually appreciative of?  List five!

The truth is that it’s easy to see the good, even amid the noise out there.  Your job, my DynamicLeader friend, is to see it, acknowledge it, and amplify it.

I’ve grown a lot in this last month in ways I didn’t expect.  You have too, I’m sure. (And no, I don’t mean your waistline.)

This...

The emotional roller-coaster is a real thing.  As a high-performer and super positive person, I’ll share with you that I’ve had an off-day here and there, too.  And I give myself permission to feel it and ride it out.

Here’s where my energy and emotions dipped:  I lost focus and worse, I lost purpose. For a day, my thoughts were dark.  I’m the person who is all about presence. I help people identify their values and create a vision and mission based on them.  I help people through transitions. And somehow on that day last week, I couldn’t focus on what I was doing or why it mattered.    

Gap-analysis – 

I knew where I wanted to be and what I wanted to feel (desired outcome).

I certainly knew what I was feeling (current baseline).

From there, I could see how wide the gap was.  This was a logic step to measure/quantify my energy and emotions.

Tactics based on current assessment...

THIS is the key to get you through ANY situation… ANY!  We all might feel like we’re living in some twilight-zone episode of an April Fool’s prank gone badly and that’s why you must remember this one simple concept.  

For 27 years, I taught martial arts classes for the Department of Parks and Recreation in a small town located just north of the Golden Gate Bridge.  Additionally, a fellow black-belt and I taught self-defense courses. In those courses I used to emphasize a particular mindset as part of knowing how to get through.  

One core concept allows us to keep going in the face of adversity.  That’s this: it’s not over, you’re not done. Unless you choose to give up, it’s not over.  Oh, our lives are all different from just a month ago. We’re all feeling the effects of an invisible enemy.  

Here’s the question to ask yourself to get through to the next moment and...

Besides being my wife’s birthday (happy birthday, Shannon!), today is a GREAT day to remind yourself about the choices you have.  

This mysterious disease seems to have inundated our planet; our freedoms as we knew them have been impinged upon, at least temporarily.  Being house-bound and socially distancing has created a new norm. This is a passing new norm.  In order to stay grounded, we need to remember the things we have control over.

I was able to share these tips on WGN9 Chicago, WCIU Chicago, and Fox Denver – 

• We used to focus on times to put tech down.  Now, during social distancing and isolation it’s time to make use of it as a great tool.  Reach out. Set times to break from your tech, and certainly use it to reach out and stay connected, face-to-face.
• Ask how you can help someone.  Being of help puts you in a position to feel good.  There are numerous studies citing the reciprocal benefits of...