Oh my goodness, that’s messy!
Is it, or is it that your life is all on track?
Everything is falling into place perfectly. Birds sing and fold your laundry, taking it from the line where it was hung, and unicorns float by on their rainbow paths.
What kind of fantasy poop is that?
The truth is, your life is messy.
It’s working, but it’s messy.
My life is messy too. We live in a really messy world. Unless you’re some Tibetan Monk living a simple life with no possessions and focused ONLY on a spiritual journey, your life is messy. (And even then, the monk might say his life was messy. I don’t know; that’s a separate interview.)
Right here, right now, your Wednesdays With Wayne focuses on embracing the mess! This is not a directive to go out and MAKE your life messy. No, far from it. We all have friends, family, colleagues who are struggling in their lives – there’s depression, drug abuse, medical conditions, and family issues. That’s a different kind of mess that needs a different kind of “Clean Up” attention.
The kind of messy that I’m talking about as I invite you to embrace the mess is the stuff you’re already working on. When you get frantic instead of appreciating the process, you’ve stepped out of flow.
I’ve got this GREAT retreat that I’m planning for mid-October. Some select, special people will be there. I’m leading the retreat and I’m the coordinator for the retreat. And there are so many details to track that the theme of messy jumped up and slapped me hard a few times.
I could shut the whole thing down, swimming in the self-pity song of “it’s just too hard.” There are details on this project that I didn’t even consider. There are variables that I didn’t have any control over. And I’m learning so much, appreciating the process. Seriously, I’m appreciating the process!
My thought process is that if it feels like it’s getting difficult, I must be at a place of learning something. And that includes managing people’s requests of me. When the people who have signed up want things to go one way or another (change the date, location, time, food choice, etc.), I have to remember that their requests are simply requests. There’s no personal judgment cast on me if I can’t meet their requests. And if there IS some kind of judgment, that’s more a reflection of who they are and not who I am. I’m not a bad person for not being able to provide every change each person wants. And, they’re not bad people for daring to request that things go their way. This is a process involving people and that gets messy!
I could feel out of control. Instead, I choose to watch the process, like being on a river and knowing that there’s a flow that goes faster, slower, smoothly, or toward the rocks. I’m watching it and I’m in it.
And that brings me to YOU, dear reader. The reason I’m writing about messy is that this theme extends far beyond my own projects and processes. Almost every one of my clients mentioned something related to life being messy in this past week. And so, we get to shine a light on that.
What in your life is really in flow?
Awesome! High Five!
What in your life is working okay, but could be a whole lot smoother?
Oh, everything else? Awesome! High Five!
I’m a fan of being productive.
I’m a fan of self-development and self-improvement.
So this is not permission to just let it all go because it’s going to be messy. Nope, this is a reminder that messy is where your creative solutions come from. If everything in your life stayed absolutely orderly, you would not have anything new emerge.
Yes, some people like the predictable. They’re stuck, anchored with cement to those things they have control over and regress to tantrum-like states when the things they planned don’t turn out exactly as planned. We all know people like that. It’s sad in some ways, because life will always bring a series of disappointments for them.
Some people appreciate the predictable while they also have the qualities of curiosity, resourcefulness, and resilience. When things don’t go according to plan, they enter a place of wonder, rather than judgment. Then, they look at possibility and engage in a new path to get close to the outcome they wanted.
What’s your style? Do you regress to a puddle when things don’t go as planned?
Or, do you keep a desired outcome in mind, look at what new things are available in your life (becoming curious and resourceful), and bounce-back (being resilient) to build your current state into something new and even more amazing?
You’ve got this! Some people love it when a sandwich is so full and sloppy that juices run down their arms. I’m not one of those people. I don’t seek messy like that. And guess what, if what I’ve ordered comes out that way, I’m going to enjoy it because it’s a new experience and I might find out that, not only is it not bad, but I kind of like it!
So get back out there. Enjoy your life. It’s going to be messy!
Ask what you can learn from every place that it gets just a little bit out of whack.
And remember, even the unicorns get a little messy!
Keep making your magic™!
~ Dr P ~