Seriously, Stop Saying No

wednesdays with wayne Apr 17, 2024

This is going to be unpopular.

There’s such a big wave of, “you’ve got to take care of yourself and the only way to do that is to say No.” 


While “no” is a complete sentence, the skill needed to take care of yourself isn’t about using that word. It’s about discernment.


We’ve seen the pendulum swing too far back to “say No to everything.” 


One of my sayings is that you can’t give what you don’t have. So if you’re running on fumes, you have nothing left to give anyone else. That doesn’t mean you say no to everything. It means you focus on what’s going to get you closer to what you want.


THIS PART IS REALLY IMPORTANT AND MOST PEOPLE MISS IT – You get more of what you focus on! 

It’s that simple. Feeling overwhelmed by your calendar? Stare at your calendar and see how that makes you feel. 

(Hint: it makes you feel more overwhelmed.)


The same is true for your debt, your relationships, your refrigerator. We look to see what we don’t have and then, we’re stuck in the mindstate of lack.


HERE IS THE PIVOT: Keep your focus on what you want in your life. Take a breath here because this is where the nay-sayers want to cling to their fight for overwhelm. You can keep it if you are fighting that hard for it. I’m going to show you how to get out of it.


It’s simple, and it’s not necessarily easy because it’s a skillset that takes practice. 

Get some perspective. Let go of the “identified problem.” (That’s in quotes because in clinical psychology, we were taught to keep track of the “identified patient” in a dysfunctional family system. The thing about that is, in a system, there’s never just one thing to fix. And usually, if you’re looking at the identified problem or patient, you’re looking at the wrong thing.)


Focus on what you want. What outcome do you want? 

Realize that you’re the authority of your life. You have tolerated certain things that you won’t have time to entertain in the future. And you won’t focus there. You’ll focus on the things that you want to, and must – if you’re paying attention to your desires – say YES to. Saying YES to bigger things in your life, to upleveling your life, means saying NO to the things that are keeping you comfortably in place.


Yes, with a smile. What will you say YES to today?


Keep making your magic!

= Wayne = 

If you’re even slightly curious about doing a three-day, small-group mastermind retreat in Portugal, you’ve got to say YES sooner rather than later. I will be closing this offer several months before the actual travel dates. Join me – October 17th – 19th in Lisbon. It’s a deep dive into awakening what you desire, setting a plan to get it, and getting small group support from other good humans. 


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