Let’s talk about what throws us off. We’re not destabilized by failure. Our world tilts when we encounter great relational change. 

When someone you trust withdraws, someone you thought was supporting you leaves, or someone who fought at your shoulder against the things you were battling disappears, it can be devastating. 

It feels personal. It’s not about you, though. It’s about who the other person is to you from their view. You’ll find that there are four categories of people you’ll encounter in your life. 

Consider these your personal circles. After studying numerous models, I’ve come up with my own. This one makes the most sense to me.

Your MISSION PARTNERS are the people who actively support you. 

Jokingly, they’re the people you call in the middle of the night to bring a shovel, and you give them no other information. They’re the ones who show up with gloves, duct tape, and an old carpet roll. Forgive my dark humor. Mission Partners are simply FOR you. 

Your Mission Partners are the people who believe in you, through thick or thin, and will weather anything you’re going through with you. Most people don’t have more than two of these people in their lives over the course of a lifetime.

There are ADVOCATES, the people who believe in what you believe in and will support your cause, and they appear loyal. That appearance lasts until it's really not convenient or until something else that looks even better comes along. The Advocates are with you for a while, but they may eventually fall away. These could include best friends from college, favored clients, or even family members. In an organization, top talent might leave. It feels like a betrayal. It’s simply an opportunity for growth. 

Advocates believe in what you believe in and are with you, in support of what you support. You’ll have a number of these people around you. They come and go – and you’ll notice your own support of others and their causes waxes and wanes. It’s a normal part of life. It’s not about disloyalty; it reflects personal and professional growth. You could choose the response of gratitude for the time you had. It’s a tough thing to do. Worth it in the psychic energy you’ll otherwise spend trying to figure out what happened and what you could’ve done differently.

Your Defenders are the people who will fight on your behalf. They might have a strategic advisory role for you. They’re your financial advisors and your attorneys. Unlike Advocates who fight for what you believe in, defenders are there to support your mission by protecting you and fighting against the things you’re against. 

In your life, who stays? Who supports? Who defends? 

And who simply orbits? 

Yes, those who aren’t in the primary categories I call Satellites. These are the nice people who move within your relational orbit. They’re friendly enough. They seem familiar and they occasionally connect. They might be in your life this year and next. You might see them at social gatherings or at neighborhood events. Satellites have their own system (or orbit) they operate in, though, so they’re neither committed, nor opposed, to your mission. 

Take a look at who’s in your circle. 
Then, examine who you are to the people in your life, as well. 
What’s your level of commitment? Choose. Be intentional. Be honest. 

Choose. And keep making your magic. 

See you here next week.

= Wayne =