He storms out the door on a mission. She’s left in whirlwind, facing her multiple job roles and tasks wondering when they, as a couple, will actually get to spend time together. He knows she needs him, just to spend some time together, but he rationalizes - he’s doing all of this for her.
I’m writing my next book on relationships and this scenario is one that’s all too common. Truly, it’s all too common. He beats his chest and storms the castle. She stays behind perplexed, juggling all of the tasks that she has and not needing the same recognition for holding it all together. All she wants is time. Time together.
The pronouns don’t need to be He/She. No matter the make-up of the relationship, the scenario of one partner on a climb while the other partner feels left alone means that there’s a mismatch of communication and values. In high-achieving couples, each of the partners could be on their own climb. They each feel isolated and yet justified in their quest.
Hey, the Wednesdays With Wayne posts are meant to get you thinking. If I can afflict your comfort, I’m doing my job. You know why? Because you’re better than that and you know it.
What needs to happen for you to reconnect with your partner? Spend time. Block time to be together. Calendar that. Make it evident that doing so matters.
Take NOTHING for granted.
One of my mentors from about forty years ago noted that we exist to be witnesses for each other’s lives. How much of a good witness have you been? Just to be present, without your phone, watch, or other technology?
I named this blog, “Please, just hear me.” We all just want to be heard.
What if we all could be just a little more attentive to each other?
Don’t solve. Just listen.
Keep making your magic™!
~ Dr P ~
Hey, bursting into the second-to-last month of 2018 also means that you’re planning for 2019. There are new programs to explore at www.WaynePernell.com and a retreat to put on your calendar to come to. Every retreat I run seems to be better than the last. The next one is in April. Interested? Reach out and learn more here: www.StuckAtTheTop.com