In working with a client recently, we were discussing how the rules we were given early on have lingered with us. They become stories and they even come out of our mouths as rules we end up imposing on others.
“Make Good Choices”
It’s a life lesson we like to impose on ourselves and others. Yet if we tell that to our kids who have no frame of reference or life experience, we really are asking the impossible.
We’re really asking a question – and perhaps need to change that dictate to the question it begs:
What Do You Think the Consequences or Outcome Will Be?
A lot of times, as adults, we don’t actually know the answer to that question and that stops people from moving forward, from testing things, and from learning. As an intelligent adult reading this, think about the times you’ve been sidetracked trying to find ALL of the information before moving forward on something.
Sometimes, you’ll fail.
Sometimes, you’ll win big time!
The point here is that you need to be willing to learn. Your personal identity isn’t tied to the choice you make unless you make it so. You aren’t your last choice. And your last choice that had a bad outcome wasn’t a mistake… unless you do it again.
As leaders (in our families, our organizations, and our community) we need to be willing to let people learn. No new inventions would come about without exploration. Your role could turn to one of guide. If you have experience in something and have attempted a certain path and can reasonably predict an outcome, you may choose to share that. If you’re exploring options for yourself, you can engage in a probability game. The thing is, choices aren’t really “bad” or “good.” Those are judgments imposed by some rule we’ve held onto.
What outcome are you after?
A choice to eat pizza, cheese doodles, and ice cream while being sedentary on a couch will very likely lead to a predictable outcome.
The same is true for business decisions: A choice to reach out to potential or current contacts could possibly lead to greater sales or client retention. While an opposite choice is likely to lead to opposite results.
The power and the responsibility that comes with leadership isn’t about judging one choice as “good” or “bad.” It’s about how to leverage the learning that comes with the possible choices that are in front of you.
What Do You Think Would Happen If…?
Base your questions in curiosity.
What do you think the outcome will be if you go down a certain path? Is that choice to go down a path irreversible? Very seldom are paths those that you can’t turn back from.
Each moment… you’ve got a million choices in front of you. And that’s where your personal power lies. Choose. Experience. Learn. If it’s not the outcome you wanted, choose differently. If you’re getting closer to the results you wanted, choose to stay the course.
Pass that on without judging whether it’s good or bad.
= Wayne =
A few seats remain at my signature mastermind retreat that I’m holding in April. To access your exponential excellence, check out https://www.StuckAtTheTop.com