My wife and I have an evening ritual, a thing we do after dinner. We’ll wash up the dishes and head outside to sit at our fire pit. Yes, even when it’s flipping freezing outside, we enjoy our time together that way. We’ll continue our dinner conversation, spending time talking about the day, about what’s coming, and about our aspirations and dreams. That’s an important thing – talking about aspirations and dreams, both as individuals and as a couple. We’re “empty nesters” at this point, so it’s just us, supporting each other into our next phase of what we want for ourselves as individuals, what we want for and from each other, and what we want together as a couple.
This week’s Wednesdays With Wayne centers around the fire pit.
As we had our “fire pit time” recently, the conversation came around to those mentors we have and those others we see out there on Social Media. I have several mentors whom I truly appreciate. Some are huge and very well known, others are more understated and making a difference in their own more locally-based way.
I spend a lot on continuing education… a lot! I’m super-selective in whom I choose as my teacher, mentor, and guide. The thing is, as I learn more, I grow. My own creativity is stretched. I think differently and everyone around me benefits from that. My clients, my colleagues, my friends, my family – they all benefit from my growth. And the clients that work with me report back to me that the work is “life changing.” I don’t argue with them. I know it is. I know that when I bring perspective that others don’t have, they grow as a result. They win. Their work wins. And, most important, their family wins because they become more present AND more productive.
And… there’s a reason my clients report such success. It’s because I make the work about them. The conversation my wife and I had around the fire pit focused on those people out there who are shouting and just trying too hard. You’ve seen them. The “gurus” that take themselves way too seriously; they’ve stopped focusing on serving others and instead focus on making themselves look good.
But you don’t even have to look “out there” to find them. Look around your work – they’re the ones making waves to look good, sometimes at the cost of others. Look around at the next local business you’re in. You’ll see the ones willing and ready to serve and your gut will tell you who just needs to be seen. If you’re a business leader, you’ll know which employees need your direct intervention.
This whole thought stream focused on one simple sentence my wife uttered as the flames flickered. Shannon said, “You don’t have to be important. You have to be relevant. It’s very different.”
It’s not about being out there to be seen. It’s about doing out there to serve.
Anyone could spout platitudes and beat their chest while doing so. The question is, are they teaching you to think differently? Are they challenging you to show up in service to others in a way that you hadn’t before? Are they engaged in great relationships? Is their productivity at a place that’s remarkable? And, just as important, are they engage in doing it themselves?
As we close out this year (dang… it’s December already), pay attention to who you are, to how you are, and to the effect you’re having. Are you getting the results – the real results – you want? Are you getting the support you want and need from others to fulfill your dreams, desires, or even next steps?
Stay relevant. Let others decide whether what you bring is important to them… or not.
Either way is okay!
Look at someone you admire and think about why that’s so. What traits do they have?
Then, turn back to yourself - Focus on what makes you someone others want to be around. How are you elevating them, stretching them, helping them become better?
You’re here to lead. Do that. Use your voice. And listen more. Invest in yourself – get a coach or advisor that can stretch you so that you’re learning more. Then, as you grow, you can make yourself bigger not by puffing up, but by stepping in and truly bringing your presence, offering the gifts that only you can bring.
Don’t aim for importance. Aim for relevance.
Food for thought – until next time…
Keep making your magic™!
~ Dr P ~
Hey… if you haven’t seen my Facebook page recently, I’m doing daily quick videos for you. I’ll be doing them all this month. Every day is a quick topic that’s dear to me. It’s current and, for me – from me to you – it’s relevant. Check in here: www.Facebook.com/WaynePernell
Oh, quick, one more thing – next week I’m going to reach out and ask you to jump on something. It’s fast and easy. It’ll happen on Tuesday the 12th. Really, keep an eye out for it – a special announcement from me on 12/12/17.
It’s a win for all of us and I can’t wait to share it with you!