To be “in a flap” about something means that you’re agitated or upset. The root expression is British, pre-1700s, and comes from equating the flapping of bird’s wings to the reaction someone has when something upsets them. These days, you don’t hear about someone being “flappable.” The base has given way to the more popular notation of being unflappable.

And yet, we see people who flap quite a bit. (Don’t you love that word? I’m kind of enjoying writing it out here.) Some people seem to make a hobby (or maybe a habit) of being sucked into the drama of the world. Between the news, social media, and your utility bills, there’s no shortage of opportunities to become flappable. 

Triggered much? Yep, it’s easy to get sucked in. How does that happen?
More important:

How Do You Get Your Power Back?

We, yes, you and I, enjoy a false sense of power when we judge others. Democrats, Republicans, Middle Easterners, Americans, Australians (wait, what did the Australian’s do? Let’s leave them out of this) – there’s something “wrong” about every group. Any group that you’re not in makes them an outsider to you. And to them, you’re the outsider. 

We watch, we judge, and we become superior somehow. “They” aren’t doing things the way we’d do them. So, they’re wrong and we’re right. 

Most people are pretty tied to being right. Only those on a true path of growth are actively open to questioning whether they might be wrong. Just asking yourself, and others, this question: “under what circumstances might you be wrong?” 

Leaders at all levels could learn something from this. Analyzing your organization’s trajectory and your investment (or lack thereof) in your team members will tell you moment-to-moment whether you’re on track. And one of the strongest leadership statements you could make is, “I was wrong.” (Try that at home sometime and watch what happens!)

There’s a Japanese concept called “Fudoshin,” which roughly translates to “mind as mountain.” Essentially, when the fog, rain, and storms hit, you don’t run away. You are, dare I say, unflappable. You remain as the mountain, unswayed by any outside circumstances.

This is an active state. People think that strength means being more intense. In some circumstances, it takes true strength to choose to let go and not react. 

Fudoshin is neither a state of passivity nor numbness. You can still care. You can still be stable. What you give up is attachment, which causes rigidity and panic. Instead, you seek only information. And that’s neutral. Anything you learn, whether that’s about winning the lottery or the passing of a family member, it’s neutral information until you give it meaning.

The key here is simple, not easy, but simple. Be in charge of the meaning you give to everything you see or hear. 

You trade drama for presence.

As the leader, your job is to provide steadiness, calmness, and belief. You can’t do that while emotionally bound to a rant. Get perspective. Breathe. And lead from a place of calm.

Fudoshin – being unflappable – you pick what you call it. Just don’t get sucked into anyone else’s drama. Live from that place, and you’re unstoppable.

Keep making your magic!

See you here next week.

= Wayne =