Sometimes my wife says funny stuff. She just comes out with it. The title of this blog post was something she gave me over dinner the other night. For reference, I’ve shed a bit of weight over the last year – about 70 pounds, actually. (Yes, yay me.) I did that by tracking what I was eating. I tracked both what and how much. 

Scientists know that the act of observing something changes the thing you’re observing. That’s powerful. Well, I began tracking metrics for my nutrition and just by virtue of tracking and observing, things began to shift.

So, when we were at dinner, I was looking at what I wanted to eat. I wanted carbs… ALL the carbs. Oh, and sugar, too. I’ve learned that for me, those cravings are a signal that I’m tired and somewhat dehydrated. (Please Note that I’m NOT offering medical or dietary advice here. I’m sharing what works for me.  If you’re modifying your health in any way, please see your healthcare professional to get a plan that works for you.)

So, I ordered what I wanted, and it came with a side of tater tots. Darn it, I love tater tots. Then I started feeling guilty about having tater tots and a big main dish. Shannon pointed out that I didn’t need to finish the meal just because I had ordered it. 

This statement echoes some of the teaching I do around agility. Agile Management, in fact, is based on the premise that you need to alter your direction based on receiving new information. 

My food was in front of me. I wanted it, but not all of it. I had ordered too much food. I couldn’t waste it. Was it a waste to eat what I wanted and just leave what I didn’t’? 

I overthought the whole thing and let emotion slip in. I began feeling somewhat guilty about my meal. I wanted what I had ordered. It came with tater tots, too. And I still really, really wanted the tater tots. Shannon snapped me out of overthinking and said that I just enjoy the meal, have the guilt if I wanted, and just enjoy the meal.

Have all the guilt and the tater tots!

It’s all about choice: choosing to stick with my original plan, or not. Choosing to eat all of it, or not. And ultimately choosing to feel guilty, or not. 

It was a ridiculously wonderful call out. I was making a choice – as I had all year – to eat or not eat something. Guilt wasn’t going to decrease the caloric value. In fact, guilt only dumps cortisol (the “stress hormone”) and that causes weight gain. 

I took a breath. I assessed my plate and I settled into the idea that just because I ordered something didn’t mean I had to finish it. I could simply enjoy what I wanted, track it, and then let go. 

How often do we get stuck in a guilt cycle for wanting something, changing our minds about it, and then feeling like we “should” stay with it because that’s what we said we wanted? With new information, you need to make new decisions. 

Your ability to pivot makes you stronger as a leader. Maybe the path you set out on will still offer some benefit to you. Maybe you can pivot partway down that path. 

You don’t need to have All The Guilt And Tater Tots. Maybe you just want the tater tots and enough of something else. 

Guilt is something that comes from someone else’s voice. Babies aren’t born with it. We’re taught to feel guilty. It’s a way of being controlled. Having morals and ethics is a very positive thing. Feeling guilty because you made a decision and now want to modify it – that’s just a waste of energy. Make a new decision and move on. 

Stay present with yourself so that you can be present with others. Give yourself permission to want what you want because you want it. And give yourself permission to take a different path when you gain new information. 

This is your life. Don’t get distracted by shame, guilt, fear, or doubt. 

Choose. Then choose again. You’re worth being present enough to enjoy your life and the other people in it.

Keep making your magic. See you here next week.

= Wayne =