Ohhh that feeling

wednesdays with wayne Apr 08, 2020

The emotional roller-coaster is a real thing.  As a high-performer and super positive person, I’ll share with you that I’ve had an off-day here and there, too.  And I give myself permission to feel it and ride it out.

Here’s where my energy and emotions dipped:  I lost focus and worse, I lost purpose. For a day, my thoughts were dark.  I’m the person who is all about presence. I help people identify their values and create a vision and mission based on them.  I help people through transitions. And somehow on that day last week, I couldn’t focus on what I was doing or why it mattered.    


Gap-analysis – 

I knew where I wanted to be and what I wanted to feel (desired outcome).

I certainly knew what I was feeling (current baseline).

From there, I could see how wide the gap was.  This was a logic step to measure/quantify my energy and emotions.


Tactics based on current assessment –   

I knew, deep down, that this emotional space wasn’t my typical space.  I knew I was off and simply riding the roller coaster into a dip. With that knowledge, I went outside.  I didn’t go outside to get around people in public, I went outside to get around nature. I needed to breathe in the sunshine and listen to the birds.  I needed to deliberately not-focus on my work.  


My “why” in that moment was simply to experience.  

All emotions are okay.  There’s balance to everything we do.  And to feel better, my action was to break from the patterns that had kept me feeling just that bit off.  


Here’s why we feel bad:

  • As much as we say we dislike routines, they’re ours and we cling to them.  What we knew, our routines as we knew them, were disrupted in an instant.  
  • We attempt to find a “new normal.”  The problem is, we don’t want this to feel normal.  (By the way, this feeling really shouldn’t feel normal.  Think of this as a temporary typical, not a norm.)


We cling to the things we can control.  Some of my friends joke about how much they’re eating.  Some of my friends brag (rightly so, I suppose) about how much they’re exercising.  I’ve seen amazing recipes and awesome home gym pics.  

We all lament the loss of income and silently take inventory as we hear of someone else’s woes.  Then, you might choose to feel badly for the way you’re thinking. You hear of something going badly for someone and you gauge whether you’re going to be okay.  From income to eggs and toilet paper, we each assess whether what we have is enough.

I don’t know of anyone who’s feeling like they’re on top of the world right now.  Even the billionaires who have quarantined themselves on their yachts, are most likely not feeling exceptional.  Living on a yacht sounds luxurious; when you can’t leave your living space, that luxury becomes confinement.  


Don’t compare.

Assess.  Last week, I reminded you to ask this question: What’s available to me now?


Having options puts you back in control and remember, just because we’re living under the “stay-at-home” rule, it doesn’t mean you can’t get outside.  Keep a safe physical distance from others and explore the parameters of what stay-at-home is.  

Your routine has been upset?  Okay, take the opportunity to really throw it off and establish a new routine.

  • What time will you get up?
  • What food will you prepare?
  • What activities will you engage in?


At work – who are you doing your project for?  What positive outcome does it serve?

Laid off? Who can you serve that you wouldn’t otherwise have the opportunity to do so? (By the way, for a lot of people, that’s family.  For some, it’s friends you haven’t connected with in a long time. And for others, it’s the charity group that you’ve been meaning to do more for.)  


Opportunities exist.


We’re all trying to make meaning of this situation.  Each of us has our own interpretation.

Just remember, no one is doing this to you.  You weren’t singled out to have your life disrupted and so living in the space of feeling badly doesn’t serve you or anyone else.  

When you have a dip:

  • Acknowledge it.
  • Know that it’s temporary.
  • Do a gap analysis.
  • Take some small action steps.
  • Deliberately get out of your routine.
  • Establish a new routine.
  • Get around positive people – reach out to reconnect. 

See you here next week!

~ Dr P ~


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