Occasionally, my private client calls fuel some thoughts that I can pass along in this format. When a new client, who is a high-level professional woman dealing in contracts in the millions of dollars, was wrestling with the reasons she felt distracted, pulled in all directions, and couldn’t find any possible way to work on building herself, it sounded like she had been obligating herself into martyrdom.
“I’m a giver,” she exclaimed, as if that was a reason to rush headlong into burnout.
I stopped her. Somewhere in her past she had been rewarded for being the good girl who would make sure everyone else was okay and then see what might be left over for her.
“STOP!” I demanded.
She was surprised. Her stories had always carried her to the land of excuses, and she’d been celebrated as the heroine of her treacherous journey.
Not today. Not… to… day!!!
“You are DONE living the life of obligation. Today, you open to potential and accept the journey that is yours.” I reminded her that she can’t give what she doesn’t have.
“If you’re running on fumes, how are you really serving anyone else?” I asked. Without waiting for a reply because I was making a point, I continued, “And if you’re not leveling up, you can only serve from the level you’re at. So, how far with that take you and how will you serve others?”
You can’t give what you don’t have means that you have to take time to refuel.
It also means that you MUST be deliberate about investing in yourself so that you can serve from a higher level.
Yes, my client will engage in contracts that require her services. In that way, she’s “obligated” to them. The difference is that this time it’s conscious. She’s choosing with whom to contract. And doing that – choosing – puts everything back on her terms. She no longer needs to become the victim or the martyr in an effort to look like a hero. That’s behind her, and I told her so.
“Who you were, the martyr tied to obligation is behind you now.”
And then I repeated myself on purpose because she needed to hear how important that statement was. “That’s in the rearview mirror. Behind you.”
She could look back to see it, but not dwell there.
What’s ahead? Potential. Full-on potential. Her life. Her journey. Her new levels of success.
Now it’s your turn.
Keep making your magic. Check the rearview to see where you’ve been. Keep your eyes on the road ahead because that’s where your future, the one YOU design, is waiting.
Want a nudge with any of this?
If you want to work with me 1:1 or in one of my small groups, just ping me. It’s all by application to ensure the right fit.
See you here next week!
= Wayne =
~ Dr P ~