Psychologists have long known that people tend to develop familiarity, preference, and connection with those that they encounter regularly. That’s known as “The Propinquity Effect.” (Honestly, not too many people know that. Just some of us psychology geeks know that, which is why I’m sharing it.) 

The paradox about propinquity appears when people assume that the more often others see us, the more they'll trust us. We bank on the concept of propinquity as a fondness that develops resulting from exposure or nearness.

The thing to keep in mind is this:

Proximity alone doesn't create trust. It creates exposure.

The more people see you, the more data they gather about you. They observe your behavior, your reactions, your consistency, your integrity, and whether your actions align with your words.

Trust is the result of what proximity reveals, not the result of being around someone. We’ve likely all had experiences where we’ve dreaded being around certain people. Something about their behavior clearly indicated a misalignment with what they were saying.  

What I’m calling The Propinquity Paradox is that while being around someone over repeated exposures can bring you closer to them, exposure, without congruence, will accelerate distrust. 

As a leader, you cannot assume that becoming more visible will automatically increase trust. Holding more meetings, increasing communication, and making yourself more available creates visibility. Visibility promotes scrutiny. 

As you are prone to judge others, people form conclusions about you based on what you consistently demonstrate. When your actions align with your values, proximity strengthens trust. If your actions contradict your message, proximity magnifies the gap.

Proximity tests perception. And it’s there that the opportunity to build a connection, via the bridge of propinquity, begins. This is why executive presence alone is not enough. Presence plus alignment allows people to lean into your consistency. 

Be aware. Be deliberate. Stay aligned with your values.

Keep making your magic!

= Wayne =